


Lonely

by shineefiction



Category: SHINee
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-18 12:22:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 27,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16994925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shineefiction/pseuds/shineefiction
Summary: Jinki is a businessman who wants for nothing but is tired of being alone. Taemin is a brooding busker who has grown increasingly frustrated with the direction of his life, or lack thereof. Both of them are being slowly consumed by the mundaness of their daily lives. Who knew that finding each other would be their cure?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Cross-posted from AFF

Every day ends the same way.

Jinki steps onto the busy sidewalk and falls in step with everyone else. One foot in front of another, he makes his way to the train station and waits to board the always full carriage. No matter how tired his feet are, he would never dare to take a seat--just in case someone else needed it more. Someone else always did. He gets off on the sixth stop and walks the rest of the way to his apartment, passing through parks and restaurants... And people. Lots of people. People who are smiling and laughing and just being with one another. He would give anything to be with someone--anyone. On those long walks home, he often imagined himself as part of the groups that he would pass by. What if he was the father of the two young boys who were playing with bubbles in the park? What if he was the one holding his lover's hand for an evening stroll? What if he played an instrument for one of the buskers?

The buskers were always a great distraction. There were many of them all the time. All talented, and all tinged with a bit of bitterness, he thought. He couldn't imagine that their lives were easy. To make it as a musician would be tough... He didn't even want to imagine having to live off an income as a busker. The cold autumn air couldn't have helped at all. All places for them to perform were without a roof--forget walls. Jinki often watched as the poor singers shivered in the cool night air, their voices almost always paying the price for their brazeness to battle with the elements. He instinctively adjusts the scarf around his neck and sinks deeper into the collar of his expensive coat. Tonight, he was looking for one busker in particular... His favorite. Most buskers use guitars, he supposes because it was easier, but this particular musician played the keys. It helped soothe him in nights like these where was feeling especially lonely. But tonight wasn't his night. There wasn't a piano-player in sight. He finds a duo who were not completely unfortunate and stops to listen for a while. But the music is not enough to drown out the emptiness... Not this kind of music anyway. 

He walks off toward the direction of his home feeling defeated. The truth is, he was running out of reasons to keep doing this. Nothing seemed to make sense anymore, and he didn't know why. He did well for himself. He was mid-level management at a renown firm and made good money. He was comfortable and could afford the lifestyle that he wanted. He had a pretty close relationship with his family back in Jeju. In fact, his Eomma just sent him a fresh batch of homemade kimchi. But other than that... He had nothing else to look forward to.

His friends all gave up on him. During the days when he was completely consumed by building his career, he had turned his back on the people who had been with him since they were young men. He just didn't know how to talk to them anymore, so he kept to himself now. And it was killing him slowly.

He arrives at his dark and empty apartment, exhausted and hungry. He doesn't even know why he bothers to open the frige when he knows that all he has in there are bottles of water and a questionable orange. He turns on the light, sips his water and sits in silence for a while. The apartment is too spacious for just one person, he'll admit. But it was evidence of his success. Not just anyone can afford to live here, but he did. To revel in his success was all he had. It was literally all he had to live for. Just like any other night, there is nothing else to do but take a shower and lie in bed with his phone until he falls asleep. He was too lonely to eat; to lonely to think. All he wanted to do was to end the day's suffering by sleeping the hours away...

Just to do it all.

Again.

Tomorrow.


	2. Cold Autumn Air

Taemin had always hated autumn.

He hated the stupid orange leaves, the in-between fashion, but most of all... He hated the cold night air. It wreaked havoc on his voice. And on nights like this, he needed his voice.

His crazy landlord was screaming at him again today to pay the rent. For the dozenth time, he had told her that he would drop it by her unit the next morning: A lie. He didn't have the money. He didn't know if he would ever have the money. It was a good thing that this is just the first month that he hadn't paid rent. Taemin knew that he could only be thrown out if he couldn't pay until the third month. A small consolation, but at least it was enough for him to be able to sleep at night. He had quit his job at the clothing store--that was why he was struggling now. No reason in particular, he was just so fed up with everything. Day in and day out of greeting people and getting stock from the back and folding clothes. Incessant folding. This wasn't what he wanted to do with his life. His boss liked him so much that he would schedule shifts so often, and more shifts meant less time for busking. So he just left. WIthout so much as a note. He would have loved to see the look on his boss' face though. But here we was. Broke and desperate.

He couldn't lean on anyone. That's because there wasn't anyone. His life had been an endless string of messes brought upon him by the people who were supposed to care. His father was a violent alcoholic who drove their mother away with his heavy hand, leaving him and his older brother Taesun to take care of themselves. He mostly remembers a childhood wrapped in fear and want. They barely had food to eat, so to even think about wanting something would be out of the question. He once saw a middle-aged man at the mall, playing the piano so beautifully. His eyes were closed and his fingers danced across the keys so lightly that it was difficult to follow with your own eyes. He didn't play--he made the hunk of wood sing, and Taemin became obsessed. Taesun even made him a replica of a keyboard using a black marker and some cardboard he swiped from the grocery strore on the the corner. He played with it until early morning, or until his older brother yelled at him to close his eyes. The makeshift toy satisfied him for a while, but he needed more. Everyday, he would pass by the music store as he came home from school and stare at the beautiful black grand piano. Sometimes, he would even gather the courage to touch the keys. That's when the store owner noticed him and took pity. The lessons were free, and Taemin ate it up like no one the retired teacher had ever seen before. Soon he got offers to study in this school and that, but they could never afford it. Taesun did his best but no child should have to take care of another child. Taemin broke off from his older brother as soon as he could. He hated being a burden. He just wanted Taesun to have the best life and he knew that wouldn't happen if he stuck around. But Taesun didn't see it that way. He still thinks Taemin abandoned him for no reason. And that's why they haven't spoken in six years. Taemin was alone, but he knows he can make it. Besides, it would be okay; he had music, he thought. He didn't think it would really be this hard.

But it was.

Everyday was a struggle. The money he makes can barely buy him a cup of ramen at the convenience store. He needed to get a regular job again soon. Not being able to eat took a toll on his health, and his weakening health took a toll on his voice. There would be no busking today. Not in his condition. But he decides to step out anyway. It was too depressing in his tiny apartment and he didn't want to be there for another confrontation with that awful landlord. He steps out and watches the different acts that he wouldn't normally be able to. There sure were a lot of talented people in the city. He suddenly understood why he has never made it all these years.

There's that guy again.

That guy who always stops and listens to him every time he's there. Taemin usually never cares, but this guy had been the only reason he could afford to eat the past couple of weeks. He always gave a tip; always something he could have a meal with. Taemin really hated the thought of handouts so he always made sure that he would play and sing perfectly when he was around. The generous stranger liked it, though. He always made sure to applaud, but he never smiled. His eyes were present in the moment, but they were wrapped in a sadness that Taemin had never seen before--not even through his hard life. He seemed alone... Lonely. That had been Taemin's goal lately--to make the lonely stranger smile.

But not tonight. 

Tonight he just watches. He watches as the generous stranger walks by and searches for him. He watches as he gives up and tries to find another act to satisfy his craving. At one point, they even stood beside each other watching a new duo that was admittedly not that bad. But he never noticed. He watches as the stranger takes a deep sigh and walks off into the cold winter night. One day, he'll make him smile.

Maybe tomorrow.


	3. Purpose

Taemin wasn’t really wasn’t sure if he was feeling better today but he had to try. Getting out of bed was especially hard, since he hadn’t gotten much sleep. Blame it on the cold wind. Again. He decides to start busking earlier than usual, just to be able to make ends meat. This life was definitely harder but he didn’t mind it. It felt good to work hard doing something he absolutely loved. It was just hard to not feel his grumbling stomach as well. 

He lugged his equipment down the stairs and was halfway out the door when his awful landlord got a hold of him, screaming about the rent again. He mumbled his apologies and rushed out the door with a heavy heart. This really can’t go on for long. Maybe he should think about getting a normal job again. 

The young man arrives at his usual spot and there was absolutely no one in sight. Maybe it was because it was the height of the noonday heat on a weekday. But he didn’t mind. Even if no one was there to listen, time with his music was always something he treasured.

He was lucky enough to know someone who owned a shop nearby. The owner was so impressed with the boy that he often let him use the electricity from his shop for free. He didn’t use much though, and Taemin tried to pay him when he could. The owner never accepted though. Taemin played all through the day, taking quick breaks here and there. He discovered that it was good to play in the afternoons when old people were walking around. They were always appreciative and tipped well. The young man got enough to finally eat a proper meal for the day and even saved some money for tomorrow.

As dusk fell, his fellow buskers started to arrive, and the street comes alive, bustling with people. Being the only one to play the piano, Taemin is already set apart from the other buskers but just as he starts to gain momentum, the audio cuts out. He pounds on his keys but nothing comes out. He checks his microphone and his voice comes out of the speaker just fine. It’s his piano. This is a problem. His stomach flutters with anxiety when he realizes just how much this is gonna cost him—and he really didn’t have money to begin with. People slowly walk away as he is busy fussing over his instrument, cursing his luck. It feels like the last straw and Taemin crumbles. He buries his face in his hands and lets out all the frustrations he’s been keeping in him the past year. The sobs shake his whole body but he doesn’t care one bit, until someone comes closer and clears his throat.

_**“Don’t cry in public. It’s beneath you.”** _

The voice was deep and distinct. It sounded beautiful, but this person spoke with absolutely no emotion. He didn’t recognize it at all but he knew he wouldn’t forget it either. Taemin looks up just in time to see that it was the lonely stranger. He took out a wad of money and dropped it into the young man’s tipping hat. 

_**“This should be more than enough.”** _

With that, the lonely stranger just walks off as usual.

Taemin’s eyes are wide at what he just saw. Did this man really just GIVE him money to buy a new piano? No. Money to buy a new piano AND pay for two months worth of rent? This is the most ridiculous thing he’s ever seen in his entire life. Who did this guy think he is? There was no way he was going to sit there and let this happen. He felt a rage rise up in his belly as he picked up the money and yelled for the shop owner to watch his stuff. 

_**“YAH!”** _

Taemin runs after him with a crazy look in his eye. He had never felt more insulted and degraded in his entire life.

_**“YOU! WITH THE COAT! STOP WALKING! YAH!!!”** _

The boy finally catches up and grabs the stranger’s arm to swing him around. 

 ** _“What is this?”_** Taemin says, holding up the money to the stranger’s face. 

_**“It’s money.”** _

_**“Why did you give me this??”** _

_**“You broke your piano.”** _

_**“I did not—I didn’t break it on purpose!”** _

_**“Does that matter? It’s broken. You need a new one.”** _

_**“It is not your place to tell me whether I need or do not need a new piano!”** _

_**“But you do.”** _

Taemin takes the strangers hand and shoves the money into his palm. 

**_“I don’t need your money.”_ **

**_“You were crying about it. You must need some.”_ **

The stranger says, as holds the cash up and offers it to Taemin once again.

_**“I. DO. NOT. NEED. YOUR. MONEY.”** _

The anger and determination in the young man’s eyes was no joke. It spurred the stranger into submission. He looks at the young man one last time and decides to let it go.

 _ **“Okay.”**_ He says as he puts the cash back into his wallet, turns and walks away.

Taemin is completely incensed. The young man runs after the stranger and insists on speaking with him some more. 

_**“What’s your deal?? Huh? Giving random strangers wads of cash? Are you rich? Do you think you can just hand people money on the street and that automatically makes you a good person? Am I your good deed? Am I your charity case for the day?”** _

_**“You’re upset.”** _

_**“Of course I’m upset!! I’ve never been more insulted in my life!”** _

_**“In that case, apologies are in order. I’m sorry. I just wanted you to get a new piano.”** _

_**“WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE?!?”** _

It takes a few seconds for the stranger to say something in return. He flinches and looks away before opening his mouth to speak.

_**“Your music is the only good thing about my day.”** _

Taemin is stunned. He didn’t know what answer he was expecting but he certainly wasn’t expecting that. 

_**“I hope you get a new piano soon.”** _

And suddenly Taemin is alone in the middle of that busy street, suddenly realizing his purpose in life.


	4. Thanks

It's been a couple of nights now without much sleep. Taemin still can't take his mind off last night's encounter with the only person who made his life a little bit easier. He can't believe he went off on him that way. It really was a nice gesture for him to even think of helping... No one had ever been so kind to him. He wanted so badly to apologize for his behavior, but how? It kept the young man staring at his ceiling for hours on end, until the sun came up. It's fine, there's nothing to do today anyway. His piano was broken beyond repair. It was only apt, he supposes, after its many years of loyal service. He didn't have a problem laying his instrument to rest, if only he had an alternative. 

He checks his phone and there's a text from the shop owner asking him to come in. It seems that a package had arrived for him and he has to go and get it. He steps outside, the light hurting his sleep-deprived eyes. In no time at all, his feet took him to his destination. _**"This came in for you this morning,"**_ the shop owner said. _**"I didn't want to sign for it but they said it would be taken back if I didn't. I thought you must need this. Take it quickly. I don't have the space."**_

Taemin broke out into a cold sweat. From the size of the package, he could already tell what it was. Taemin could hardly believe his eyes. It was top of the line, and more beautiful than he could ever hope for. He picks up the card it came with and reads it silently.

_"You're stubborn. Take this as my thanks. Please return to your music quickly."_

The card isn't signed but it didn't have to be. Taemin knew exactly who this came from.  He can't believe it. Even after the meltdown he had the other day, shouting at the poor guy, he still goes out and does this for him. He has to do something in return. He takes his new instrument, mumbles his thanks to the shop owner and heads to his place, all the while formulating a little plan in his head.

**********

Jinki leans back in his office chair, wondering if what he did was too much. The busker seemed so sure that he didn't want to be helped. What the busker didn't know was that Jinki was as stubborn as he was--probably even more so. There was a reason he was so successful. He always had his way.

 _ **"Sir, there's someone here to see you. He wouldn't give his name, but he's pretty adamant,"**_ his secretary says. 

Jinki knew exactly who it was. It was pretty impressive that he had traced everything back to him, but he honestly wasn't surprised. _**"It's okay, send him in."**_

In a few seconds, Taemin found himself walking into Jinki's 30th floor office with a view of the city behind his obviously expensive desk. No wonder he could afford such an expensive gift. It was hard to keep his eyes from blinking rapidly at the sight he was taking in. His diplomas and work-related awards hung on the walls and he was surrounded by shelves of books and important-looking folders.

 _ **"Did you get the package?"**_ Jinki asks, still as emotionless as Taemin remembers. Out here in the sunlight, he looked different. He was handsome, as he always was but Taemin could clearly see the depth of sadness on his face in the bright light. His eyes were dead and there was little movement in his face at all--even when he spoke. It was as if every wrinkle and every imperfection was highlighted by the obvious heartbreak he was carrying around. Taemin was moved by the sight of him. his man was broken... Just like he was.

 _ **"Uh, y-yes, I did..."**_ He says softly. _**"I just came by to say thank you..."**_

 _ **"Oh?"**_ Jinki says. _**"I thought you were going to argue for me to take it back,"**_

 _ **"The thought did cross my mind..."**_ Taemin says, a shy smile appearing on his face. _**"The truth is, I can't really afford to. You don't have any idea how much I needed a replacement..."**_

 _ **"I think I do,"**_ Jinki says. Being his favorite busker, Jinki was well-aware of Taemin's abrupt change of schedule. It used to be that the older man would be lucky to find him playing once a week for a couple of hours. Lately, Taemin was there almost every night, all night. After watching him day after day, Jinki had noticed how different Taemin seemed lately... More troubled. And definitely more skinny.

 _ **"How did you find me?"**_ he asks, his curiousity getting the better of him.

 _ **"I bugged the courier to tell me,"**_ Taemin says, with a soft giggle--almost embarrassed about what he had done. _**"Uh... I also wanted to apologize for how I behaved last night... I was just... I've been... It's been challenging, and I guess I snapped. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry,"**_  

Jinki just blinks as he listens. He suddenly got up and took his coat from behind the door. _**"Let's go,"**_ he says.

 _ **"Huh? W-where?"**_ Taemin says, confused.

 _ **"I'm starving,"**_ He says as he passes Taemin and heads out. There was nothing else the young man could do but follow him out the door. 

******

Jinki just stares as Taemin devours his steak and rice. It was cute how he had to convince the young man to get what he really wanted. What he would give to have a picture of how Taemin looked when the food arrived. He had never seen someone so happy to see food in his life. Even the way he kept the food in his cheeks like a chipmunk was precious. 

 _ **"Slow down. The food's not going anywhere,"**_ Jinki says, amused.

 _ **"I'm sorry. This is my favorite..."**_ Taemin says, his voice muffled. 

 _ **"I can tell..."**_ the older man replies. He watches silently as Taemin concentrates on finishing his meal. He wonders when was the last time that he had eaten properly. _**"You never told me your name,"**_ he says.

 _ **"Oh. You're right... I'm sorry. I'm Taemin. Lee Taemin..."**_ He says, blushing. Taemin can't believe that he had stormed this man's office and let him buy him a meal without even properly introducing himself. 

 _ **"It's nice to meet you, Taemin. I'm Lee Jinki,"**_ he says.

 _ **"I know you are... I stalked you til I found you, remember?"**_ Taemin says, giggling. _**"You've done so much for me already, Jinki-ssi. I don't know how to make it up to you..."**_ Taemin says.

 _ **"There is one thing I can think of..."**_ Jinki says.

Taemin seems surprised that he had an answer quite quickly. _**"What is it...?"**_

_**"You could play for me..."** _

 

 


	5. Trust

Taemin tries his best to keep up with Jinki as he walked swiftly on the busy sidewalk. The young man never realized just how fast the former stranger was on his feet. The speed wasn't helping the cold air that was steadily picking up. It was an opportune time for Taemin to notice that not only was his coat becoming way too light for the progressing weather, but that he didn't bring his scarf. He wished for the sun to shine harder, but it was downcast as it usually was at this time of the year.

 _ **"H-hey, Jinki-ssi, I thought you wanted me to play for you,"**_ Taemin says, quite confused.

 _ **"I do,"**_ Jinki replies, not slowing down at all. _**"Well, I took the piano back home, and my house is the other way,"**_ he says, huffing. 

 _ **"Alright,"**_ the older man says.

 _ **"Well... If my house is the other way, then where are we going?"**_ Taemin asks. Jinki stops dead in his tracks and turns around to face the younger man, who by now had flush cheeks from the cold afternoon winds.

 _ **"You ask a lot of questions, don't you, Taemin-ssi? Do you trust me?"**_ he asks, without emotion in his face again.

 _ **"Uh... Y-yes...? I guess,"**_ Taemin says, his voice shivering.

 _ **"You guess?"**_ Jinki replies with an amused look on his face. _**"You should never guess, Taemin-ssi... Or, you should never let people know you are guessing,"**_ he says. Taemin is looking at him with his beautiful child-like gaze and it is that exact moment that the older man notices him shivering. Jinki takes his expensive, designer scarf from around his neck. _**"Here,"**_ he says as he steps closer and wraps the scarf around Taemin's neck. From this angle, the young man could see just how handsome Jinki really was. The moles on his face were clear, even on this cloudy day. For some strange reason he wanted to trace his hands over them. Thank God he was still quite aware of his place. Almost as a consolation, the scarf around his neck feels like a warm hug. Jinki's scarf smelled worn, but nice--it smelled like him.

 _ **"Th-thank you, Jinki-ssi,"**_ he says softly. Jinki is still holding on to the scarf, and sees something interesting in the young man's eyes that he hadn't seen in a very long time. He saw warmth. The pair stands still, sharing a tender moment as the clouds in sky starts to part. Jinki clears his throat as he turns around and resumes walking. Taemin stood in place for a while, his heart beating against his chest, before he starts walking after him. They walk back to Jinki's office building and head straight for the elevator. 

 _ **"Uh... Do you have more work to do? It's okay... I can wait... Or come back..."**_ Taemin asks. 

 _ **"Not necessary. We're just getting my car,"**_ Jinki finally says, as he presses the buttons toward the basement.

 _ **"Oh. You're always walking when I see you. I didn't know you had a car,"**_ Taemin says.

 _ **"I'd rather walk most of the time. But your piano might make that... Challenging,"**_ he says as the elevator opens its doors. The basement parking was almost deserted, and Jinki fishes the keys out of his pocket. Taemin hears the beep of car doors opening a few feet away. He turns his head towards the sound and his mouth falls open.

 _ **"THAT'S your car?"**_ Taemin asks, his eyes wide open at the decked out BMW in front of them. 

 _ **"I know it's a bit dirty but it works fine,"**_ Jinki shrugs.

 _ **"I... I've never ridden in a car this nice before,"**_ the young man says, trying to hide his awe. 

 _ **"Well there's a first time for everything. Are you coming or not?"**_ Jinki smirks at Taemin who is not able to move from his spot. The older man gets in and starts the engine with Taemin scrambling to get in. _**"Seatbelt,"**_ Jinki says. _**"The car won't move until you wear it."**_ The younger man's wide eyes got even wider as he immediately obeyed. They pull out of the parking lot and begin their journey in silence. Jinki turns out to be a good driver... Steady and safe, much like the personality he has been allowing himself to show.

Taemin keeps looking around the car and swallows the million questions he had about its features. More importantly, he had a burning curiosity about Jinki that he couldn't stand anymore. _**"So... Are you super rich or what?"**_

 _ **"I do alright,"**_ Jinki says, never taking his eyes off the road. 

Taemin can't seem to sit still, running his hands over the interiors of the car. _ **"This is really something..."**_ he says quietly. Taemin's innocence brings a tiny smile onto his face. Jinki has been around all these things with no issue for some time now, and seeing Taemin be fascinated by it all is refreshing to say the least.  _ **"I don't know why you would suffer on the train when you have a car this nice... If I had a car like this, you couldn't pay me enough to take the train ever again."**_

 _ **"If I drove, then I wouldn't get to see you playing at night..."**_ Jinki says.

 _ **"Oh..."**_ the young man replies. He didn't expect that answer at all. Someone liked his music so much that he would rather take public transport every night just for the chance to hear him play. No one ever appreciated what he did that much--at least not to his knowledge. He was suddenly embarrassed by his behavior.

 _ **"So where are we going?"**_  Jinki says.

 _ **"Straight and then left at the third stoplight..."**_ Taemin second-guesses if he should show Jinki where he actually lives but it was too late right now. He figures Jinki knows that he really isn't as well off, so maybe it'll be okay. The young man glances over at Jinki and somehow comfort washes over him. _**"I see you, you know... I know you... By face, I mean..."**_

For some reason, Jinki's heart suddenly skipped a beat. _**"I didn't know you paid attention."**_  

 _ **"I know who my tippers are,"**_ Taemin says, matter-of-factly.

 _ **"Right..."**_ the older man says, feeling somewhat deflated. It was silly to think that he was someone special. Taemin probably saw a hundred people listening to him at night. Instead of making silly assumptions, he really should just stick to watching the road. They sit in silence for a while, and Jinki watches Taemin from the corner of his eye. The young man looks quite peaceful staring out of the window like this. Jinki likes that he is able to make him feel safe enought to relax like this. Of all the times he had seen him before, he had never seen him look so comfortable. He can't help but wonder more about the life of his passenger.  _ **"Want to tell me why you're free to visit and have lunch with me at 2:00 in the afternoon on a weekday?"**_

 _ **"I... Uh... Well... I'm in between jobs right now,"**_ Taemin says, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. All of a sudden, he feels completely vulnerable. There's no way that he could feel any more out of place than he does at this particular moment, so he just does what he does best: deflect. _**"Well, what about you, Jinki-ssi?"**_

 _ **"I'm the boss,"**_ he says nonchalantly. 

 _ **"Oh. Of course you are."**_ The young man's anxiety increases as he finally decides to keep his mouth shut.

 _ **"I can't imagine that busking is your only source of income,"**_ Jinki asks innocently.

Taemin folds his arms to help signal that he didn't want to talk about it. _**"This is getting kind of personal,"**_ he says. Taemin especially didn't want to talk about his financial status with someone who was obviously swimming in money. It made him extremely uncomfortable, not to mention insecure.

Jinki senses the tension and immediately regrets the line of questioning he was taking. He wanted this to be a time he could repay this young man for everything he didn't know that he did for him, but he's only been successful at making him upset.  _ **"I'm sorry. I just meant, it must not be enough,"**_

 _ **"It isn't, but that isn't anyone's business."**_ Taemin's eyebrows are furrowed now. He hadn't always been great at it, but he valued his independence. It's important to him that he is able to take care of himself. The fact that he was having a hard time doing that now was a sensitive subject, to say the least. It would do Jinki well to just leave him alone. But he couldn't really bring himself to say that bluntly. They didn't know each other that well.

 _ **"Are you looking for a job, or do you want to do music full time? Maybe I can help,"**_ Jinki quickly says. He usually wasn't this forward but he could sense a desperate situation when he sees one. It seems to have worked, too. Taemin seems to soften at the offer. Uncomfortable as he was, he was in no position to turn down a potential job offer.

 _ **"If I could pay my rent doing music, that would be great but I don't see that happening anytime soon. So, yeah, I'm looking for a job... Or at least I was planning to."**_ Taemin was getting nervous about the interaction as he could guess where it was headed to next.  

 _ **"Then come work for me,"**_ Jinki says.

 _ **"Wh-what?"**_ Taemin hated that he was right about his hunch.

Jinki glances over at the young man and finds him in shock. Jinki panics in turn. He doesn't want Taemin to get the wrong idea... He just wanted to help him; he didn't want to impose on his life at all. He thinks of a way to backpedal. _**"I don't mean directly for me, just at the company. I can get you an interview at the very least. What kind of work did you have in mind?"**_

 _ **"I don't know... The kind with a paycheck?"**_ Taemin answers without any idea at all.  _ **"This is me right here. On the right."**_

They stop at a run-down building in the middle of one of the busiest, crowded streets in the city. Jinki's BMW looks painfully out of place here, and eyes are on Taemin as he opens the door and steps out. _**"Wait here, I'll be right back."**_ Jinki nods his head and watches the young man disappear into the building. 

_What the fuck are you doing, Lee Jinki._

He wish he could understand, but there is no rhyme or reason to his intense desire to be with and help Taemin. Well, maybe there is a reason. Reasons. A reason is the many nights of wonderful music that soothed him. A reason is the nights he was able to fall asleep comfortably, feeling that he was not alone by listening to one of his songs. A reason is being able to get out of bed in the morning, looking forward to listening him again.

Was he a fan? Maybe... He evaluates if this is regular fan behavior to shower the artist with elaborate, expensive gifts and blowing off work for the day to feed him and chauffeur him around town. But being here with Taemin gave him some sort of peace. It made him feel like he was connected with the world and life somehow. 

Taemin comes out with his new piano and equipment in tow, but Jinki was surprised to see him with a worried look on his face and a middle-aged person tailing him closely. He couldn't hear clearly but he could tell that Taemin was being yelled at, and that he was doing his best to appease the situation. He pleads, and walks closer to the car, Jinki being able to make out a muffled: _**"I have to go. I really have to go! We'll talk about it when I get back okay? I'm sorry,"**_ before he opens the door to the back, puts his stuff in carefully and taking his seat back up front.

 _ **"Everything okay?"**_ Jinki says, as he glances at the yelling person, who is now in the doorway of the building entrance, watching the both of them very carefully.

 _ **"Yeah... It's just... For... Um, apartment repairs,"**_ Taemin says dismissively. Jinki gets the hint that the young man does not want to talk about it further. 

 _ **"Okay then... Where to?"**_  Jinki asks.

 _ **"Well, I have electricity needs so I can't go busking anywhere else except for my usual spot..."**_ Taemin says.

 _ **"I'm really not in the mood to go there right now, if I'm being honest with you,"**_ Jinki says.

 _ **"Okay... You're the one who wants to hear me play, so you tell me,"**_ Taemin says, buckling his seatbelt once again.

 _ **"Do you trust me?"**_ Jinki asks.

 _ **"Jinki-ssi. This is the second time you've asked that. I willingly got in and have been sitting in your car for the last twenty minutes. I've shown you where I live. I think I have pretty much established how much I trust you,"**_ Taemin chuckles. _**"Which is surprising, to be honest. I'm not usually this friendly... You're lucky,"**_ he says with a smirk. 

It suddenly hits Jinki how open Taemin was being with him right now. It makes him want to do better to show him how much he's appreciated. _**"Okay, then,"**_ he says with a smile as Jinki pulls the car away from the curb.

 _ **"Is that a smile?? You smiled! You just freaking smiled. My work here is done,"**_ Taemin says, clasping his hands together in glee.

Jinki is surprised at Taemin's reaction. _**"What?"**_ he says, his smile becoming more prominent on his face.

 _ **"Don't be mad... Sitting there playing the same songs gets boring sometimes, so I play games to entertain myself. I've been trying to get you to smile for the last three months,"**_ Taemin says, completely overtaken by laughter. _**"I can't believe I finally did it! I'm so happy."**_

 _ **"You've been trying to get me to smile...?"**_ Jinki asks, surprised even more than he was in the beginning. He must have been more special than he thought he was. This new information only made him smile more.

 _ **"Yeah... You hardly smile. Like ever. And you should do it more often! See? It suits you..."**_ Taemin says, touching his arm. It was heartwarming to see Jinki smile like this. It made his handsome face light up. For some weird reason, Taemin made a pact with himself to make him smile even more. _**"My brother used to say smiles are a gift..."**_

 _ **"A gift?"**_ Jinki asks. 

 _ **"Yeah... He said that to me when we were growing up. A smile is a gift. To yourself, when you're having a bad day. And to others when they're having a bad day. A smile makes everything a little bit better, no matter how shitty life gets. I've never found it to be untrue..."**_ Taemin recounts.

Jinki is touched by the story. _**"Your brother is a wise man,"**_ he says.

 _ **"He sure is."**_ For the first time in a long time, Taemin wondered how his brother was doing. But this wasn't the time or place. He turns his attention back towards the man of the hour. _**"So, tell me smiley Jinki-ssi, where are you taking me?"**_ Taemin noticed that they were driving further and further into the more affluent side of the city, and he was getting a bit nervous. If feeling out of place was going to be a theme today, he at least wanted to know that it was coming.

 _ **"Well, you showed me where you live, so I thought it would be fair to show you where I live,"**_ Jinki says.

The young man breathes in sharply in surprise. It's not usual for him to just go to the house of a lonely, generous stranger. He was suddenly rethinking the trust thing and hoped that Jinki's kindness didn't come with any strings attached. 

Jinki immediately notices the shift in atmosphere, and Taemin's rigid movements. _**"Or we could go somewhere else, if this makes you uncomfortable,"**_ he says.

Taemin thinks it over and assesses every single interaction he has had with Jinki. He comes to the conclusion that Jinki is harmless. _**"It's okay. You seem harmless enough."**_

 _ **"You do trust me, huh?"**_ Jinki says as they pull into the basement parking of a high-rise building. The personnel nod at him and let him through without a hitch. Soon enough, they were in an elevator headed for the 26th floor.

 _ **"You carry all this around by yourself?"**_ Jinki asks, grunting as he sets down some of Taemin's equipment. 

 _ **"Yep. Everyday,"**_ he says.

 _ **"This is seriously impressive,"**_ Jinki says as the elevator dings and the doors open. They pick up Taemin's stuff and the older man leads them down the hallway.

The interiors of the building looks like a hotel and the young man is intimidated immediately. He should have expected it, with the building being located where it was, but Taemin didn't really think that he could get used to this type of sophistication surrounding him. He suddenly is ten times more aware of the hole in the bottom of the hem of his tshirt, and the worn out soles of his shoes. But it's too late to do anything about it now. _ **"Talk about impressive,"**_ he retorts with wide eyes.

 _ **"The hallways are better looking than my apartment,"**_ Jinki says, as he sets down the stuff and reaches into his pockets for his keys. _**"I wish I could say it was messy, but it honestly doesn't have much stuff in it."**_

The door swings open and Taemin gasps. It was huge! The wooden floors were dark and expensive and the minimalist countertops, cabinets and shelves were only things that Taemin sees in magazines. The square-footage could fit in maybe ten times of his own living space. It's honestly painful to keep himself from running around like a child.  _ **"Holy..."**_ Taemin finally manages to say. This day was making his eyes bug out of his head too much.

 _ **"Make yourself at home..."**_ Jinki says, leading the way inside. The living room had ample space for all his stuff so Taemin decides to set-up camp there. He enters carefully and quietly. _**"I'll be right back."**_

Jinki goes to his bedroom to change out of his stuffy suit. He couldn't believe Taemin was in his living room to play just for him. If he had known this was possible then he would have made it happen sooner. There are so many things that he wanted to ask him about his music and his life. He couldn't get changed fast enough. Jinki checks his outfit one last time, and approves of his loose sweat pants and soft sweater. He takes his eye contacts out and replaces it with his eyeglasses, and rushes back to his guest.

Taemin took off his coat and Jinki's scarf and finished setting up his keys. He set it on top of Jinki's coffee table so that he could play it seated on the couch. He figured his voice would be loud enough for an audience of one, so he doesn't bother setting anything else up. This was the first time that he had actually played with his brand new instrument and it's so beautiful that he could have easily cried... Maybe when he got home. He didn't want Jinki to see. His fingers softly dance on the keys and fills the room with beautiful music just as Jinki walks back out. It was as if the melodies were calling the older man nearer, and his breath was caught in his chest. He closes his eyes and immerses himself in the emotions. Finally, he was able to feel again.

The young man is suddenly aware of another presence in the room and looks over his shoulder to see Jinki standing in the middle of the hallway with his eyes closed, almost as lost in the music as he was. Taemin's heart stops as he realizes how soft Jinki looks right now. He didn't look like the emotionless, stuffy businessman. He looked like someone he could have a cup of cocoa with in front of a warm fireplace. The scene is so vivid in Taemin's mind that he could almost feel Jinki's arms wrapped around him, making him feel warm and protected. But the abrupt stopping of the music leads the older man to open his eyes and finds that Taemin is already staring at him. 

 _ **"Uh... I... That was beautiful,"**_ Jinki says, flustered. He slowly walks towards the couch to sit beside Taemin as the young man immediately whips around, averts his eyes and fidgets in his spot. 

 _ **"Thanks,"**_ Taemin says shyly, running his fingers over the keys.

 _ **"Okay, I'm here..."**_ Jinki says. _**"Play me something."**_

Taemin is surprised to feel his heart suddenly start to race. The smell of Jinki and the way he was sitting so close stirred something up in him that he wasn't familiar with. _**"Uh... Yeah... Okay. This is new,"**_ he says. 

 _ **"New?"**_ Jinki says with wide eyes, obviously excited.

 _ **"Yeah... It's not quite finished. But I figured I should do something special for you, since you've done so much for me,"**_ Taemin says, his eyes glued to the keys. He is so aware of Jinki's hands, the way his hair fell across his forehead, the rise and fall of his chest. Thank God he had the music to concentrate on. He takes a deep breath as he starts to play his opus for his biggest fan. It was his turn to close his eyes and get lost in the music. It had been a long time since he allowed himself to think of nothing else but the notes on his keys and the song in his heart. 

Jinki is captured by him. The way he moved his fingers and the way his face betrays just how much he loves what he is doing--Jinki couldn't tear his eyes away. The apartment is filled by an overwhelming sense of passion brought about by the music created by this person sitting next to him. It isn't lost on him how lucky he is in this moment to be the only witness to this work of art. 

Both of them are almost in tears as it ends.

There is nothing appropriate to follow the sound of Taemin's performance but the sound of silence. The two sit in it for a while, perfectly content in the moment that they shared.

 _ **"Absolutely beautiful..."**_ Jinki whispers, almost breathless. _**"What's it called?"**_

The younger man thinks for a minute, and looks over at his new friend. Despite the glasses he was wearing, Taemin is drawn to Jinki's eyes. He smiles softly as they stare at each other for what seemed like an eternity. _**"Trust,"**_ he says. _**"It's called Trust."**_

 


	6. Light and Darkness

In this light, Taemin is absolutely gorgeous. Jinki had never seen him during the daytime and he is ashamed that he never noticed just how damn attractive the young man was. They had spent the last three hours talking and laughing with each other, and it was a wonder how Taemin could be so open about his life. It was a delight for Jinki to be this close to someone both emotionally and physically. He could see all the little things like how Taemin pouted when he talked, or how how blinked his eyes when he was thinking. He was close enough to notice that the musician actually had baby fingers. How in the world he managed to play the piano so beautifully with tiny hands was beyond him. But most of all, it was Taemin's eyes that drew him in. His gaze was always present in the moment but hopeful; intense but warm; inviting but guarded. Jinki had always heard of the saying that the eyes were the windows to the soul but never had he met anyone that actually proven it to be true. He was like a moth drawn to a beautiful flame. Taemin lit up his dark world. 

The young man's laugh echoes through the apartment as he continues to share his first experiences busking in the city streets. _**"...so they chased me away with a broom! Oh my God... I can't believe it,"**_ Taemin says, with tears in his eyes. **_"Safe to say, I never went back there ever again."_** Taemin's laughter fades as he notices Jinki isn't really laughing along with him... He was just staring. _**"What?"**_

 _ **"Stay here tonight,"**_ Jinki blurts out.

 ** _"H-huh?"_** Did Taemin hear correctly?

 _ **"Sorry, I just mean, don't go out busking. Stay,"**_ Jinki says rather sternly. 

 ** _"Oh... Um... Well, I am having fun with you but I kind of have to go and make a living..."_** Taemin says shyly.

 _ **"Okay. How much?"**_ Jinki asks.

 _ **"Excuse me?"**_ Taemin says, his eyes widening at the way this conversation was suddenly going.

 _ **"How much do you make in a night? I'll pay. I'll pay you to play here... For me."**_ Taemin examines Jinki's face to look for any sign of him joking, but there was none. The guy was dead serious.

If Jinki didn't have it in him to joke, Taemin sure did. _**"You might not be able to afford me,"**_ he says coyly.

_**"Try me."** _

It crosses Taemin's mind to take advantage of the situation. After all, he did have a landlord breathing down his neck and this is the first time in days that his stomach wasn't grumbling. But Jinki had been so sweet. They had spent the afternoon chatting and Jinki listened so intently to each of his songs, so much so that he had actually ran out of things to play him. Taemin even sang him the children's song he wrote about a talking pineapple, and the older man still loved it. No. Jinki had been perfect. He could never do that... Not to him.

 _ **"To be perfectly honest with you... A hot meal is all I aim for,"**_ Taemin says.

Jinki feels like he had been slapped in the face. A hot meal? That means Taemin hasn't been eating properly? Was this the reason he had been getting skinnier--because his busking couldn't provide him with proper food? A burning anger rises up from his belly at the thought of Taemin struggling this much. Jinki holds his tongue but he balls his fist in frustration.

 _ **"That's why I know you,"**_ the young man says, lowering his gaze. _**"I don't know why I'm telling you this but every time you come to watch me, I get to eat well. And that you did this for me on top of all that... I really don't know how to thank you,"**_ Taemin says.

The older man's heart was moved. _ **"Then stay,"**_ Jinki says, sincerity dripping from his eyes. Something in Taemin's heart stirs. Did this man actually care? _**"If you won't accept money, then just let me feed you again if a hot meal is what you want. Is delivery okay? All I have is an orange."**_

Taemin takes a second to take in the sight of Jinki being so consumed by concern for him. It had been a while since he felt like someone gave a damn about him. Selfish as it was, he craved it. He knows the silence is making Jinki anxious about his answer so Taemin puts him out of his misery and nods his head. 

 _ **"Great. Thank you..."**_ Jinki says. _**"So what are you in the mood for? Really, anything. What do you want most?"**_

 _ **"Are you being serious? To be honest... I wouldn't mind some Japanese food right now... I haven't had sushi in a long time."**_  

 _ **"Sushi? You got it,"**_ Jinki says, a smile lighting up his face. 

 _ **"Look at that. You're smiling again! Are you going to make it a habit now, Jinki-ssi?"**_ Taemin says, pretty pleased with himself. 

 _ **"Hyung. Call me hyung,"**_ Jinki says. _**"And... A new habit? Maybe... Why not. Let's see. I have a lot more to smile about now, anyway."**_ Jinki says it as he stares intently into Taemin's eyes, but the younger man couldn't be quite sure if he was flirting or not. Flirting had never been his strong suit. 

Jinki gets up and walks off to place a call to the restaurant. The young man can't help but watch as Jinki stands confidently with the most perfect posture he had ever seen. Jinki's shoulders were broad and it made the soft sweater fall on his frame perfectly. He seems engrossed in the phone call as he places a hand on his waist, emphasizing how slim it was. The action made his arm jut out as well, drawing Taemin's eye to his muscular biceps. This was way too much. The young man averts his eyes and scolds himself for being so bold. 

_Get a grip, Lee Taemin. He's been nothing but nice to you. Don't get creepy._

But it was hard not to notice someone who was in as good a shape as Jinki was. Now that Taemin's consciousness had been alerted to Jinki's attractiveness, he really didn't know how to tune it out now. Jinki notices him looking and shoots him a warm smile. His eyes crinkle and his teeth are on full display--one of the broadest smiles he's seen on Jinki yet.

_I created a monster. He better stop it with the smiling or else I'll be in deep trouble._

Taemin clears his throat and turns back to fiddling with his new instrument. He sighs as he runs his fingers over the cold keys. He had only ever dreamed of owning something this nice. It really was a thing of beauty. Definitely top of the line and it even allowed him to record his stuff--not that he had any of the other equipment he needed to do that properly. He gazes on his new instrument lovingly. The fact that this was his now hadn't really sunk in yet. Part of him still feels like he is just testing the item at the store. He looks around at Jinki's apartment for the nth time and sighs. He's here, so it must be true. That this wonderful gift was given by Jinki made it all the more precious to him. As if on cue, the older man walks back to the couch as he finishes his call.

 _ **"I hope you're hungry,"**_ he says. 

 _ **"I always am, hyung,"**_ Taemin says with a mischievous smile.

 _ **"Hmm... I like the sound of that."**_ Jinki says. 

_**"What?"** _

_**"Hyung... I like it better than what you used to call me."** _

Taemin smiles sweetly. _**"Me too... I'm really glad you gave me permission. It suits us better, don't you think? Cause we're friends now?"**_ Taemin says hopefully.

A friend. Neither of them had had one of those in a while.

 _ **"Sounds good to me,"**_ the older man says. They exchange smiles with each other that lingers a little too long. The peculiar thing is that neither of them seemed to mind. They sat there for a while staring at each other for what seemed like eternity. The funny thing was, it should have felt awkward, but it wasn't. Taemin averts his eyes purely because he was scared of where it could lead. After all, they had just established their friendship. It was probably best to keep it there for a while.

Jinki clears his throat and points to the keyboard in front of them. _**"I never got to ask you how you liked it..."**_  

 _ **"I love it,"**_ Taemin smiles shyly. _**"It's way more than I deserve to have, if you ask me."**_

 _ **"How do you figure that?"**_  Jinki asks.

 _ **"Just look at it. My grubby fingers shouldn't be touching something this beautiful,"**_ Taemin says.

Jinki couldn't stand Taemin talking about himself that way.  _ **"Your fingers are perfect..."**_ he says softly, the words flying out of his mouth before he even had the chance to realize it. He ended up staring at the young man's fingers which are still perched on the keyboard. Taemin snatches back his hands instinctively and wrings his hands together in embarrassment. 

 _ **"So... Um... Have you been playing long?"**_ Jinki asks.

The young man is relieved to be talking about something neutral. _**"Since I was about nine or ten..."**_ he says.

 _ **"And you're how old now? Sorry, is that okay to ask?"**_ Jinki asks, being more careful this time. 

 _ **"I'm twenty-six... So it's been sixteen years now. Wow. I never realized how long it's been,"**_ Taemin says. _**"What about you hyung?"**_

 _ **"Oh, I don't play the piano. I just like to listen,"**_ he says.

 _ **"No... I mean how old are you?"**_ Taemin says.

 _ **"I'm turning thirty soon..."**_ Jinki says.

 _ **"Ah... A true hyung."**_ Taemin says with a chuckle. Jinki shoots him a disapproving look. _**"I'm just kidding... You don't look a day over twenty-three,"**_ the young man says.

 _ **"Maybe I should be calling you hyung then,"**_ Jinki teases. _**"So, hyung, what else you got? I have to get my money's worth while I have you to myself,"**_ he says, pointing to the piano.

 _ **"Uh... Actually, you've heard it all,"**_ Taemin says, scratching his head. 

 _ **"I have...?"**_ Jinki says. 

 _ **"Yeah... But I can take requests if you want. I'm on your time,"**_ Taemin says.

 _ **"Requests... Okay. Do you want to watch a movie?"**_ Jinki says. 

 _ **"Huh?"**_ Taemin says, surprised.

 _ **"Since I've heard everything you've done and you're on my time... I think you should have a night off..."**_ Jinki says.

 _ **"A-a night off..?"**_ Taemin is no stranger to hard work... He never has been all his life. With his jobs and his busking, he doesn't think he's ever truly let himself have a day or a night off.  _ **"Uh... That sounds nice, hyung. But really, you can ask me to play some more... I don't mind..."**_  

 _ **"I know you don't. I'd really rather see you relax, if it's all the same to you..."**_ Jinki says, quite sure of himself.

 _ **"Oh... Okay..."**_ Taemin says. He really doesn't know what to make of this, but of course he's obligated to go along. The young man decides against asking more questions, and to just enjoy this time with Jinki. Suddenly, he feels excited about the idea of a night of just chilling out and not worrying about anything else. It has been a while since he's actually watched anything.  _ **"Can I choose the movie?"**_

 _ **"Of course,"**_ Jinki says. _**"I'll set up everything else. Do you already know what you want to see?"**_ Jinki picks up a remote control on the end table beside the couch and presses a button. Taemin's mouth falls open as he watches the wall in front of them move to reveal a huge television screen behind it. The younger man looks at Jinki in shock. _**"What?"**_

 _ **"Your wall just moved."**_ Taemin says.

 _ **"It's a panel... But, yeah,"**_ Jinki says. _**"You don't like it? Is it tacky?"**_

There's nothing else Taemin can do but shake his head in disbelief. _**"It's really cool, hyung,"**_ he says, trying to laugh off just how rich his new friend was. _**"Can we watch one of those big superhero movies?"**_

 _ **"Sure, Taemin. Which one?"**_ he asks.

 _ **"All of them? Do we have time?"**_ Taemin says with wide eyes. Jinki is amused about how the younger man is trying to hide his excitement. _**"I.. Uh... I never got to watch any of them when they came out..."**_ he says shyly.

Taemin seems to really like the movies and it's a bit surprising that he hadn't seen even a single one. Jinki wanted to ask why, but the way Taemin is acting tells him that he shouldn't. He suddenly has the desire to make the younger man more comfortable in this moment. _**"Know what... Me neither,"**_ Jinki says.

Jinki pushes a couple of buttons on the remote control and the movie starts. The older man watches as Taemin suddenly gets up and walks around the room until he finds the light switch and turns everything off. _**"Sorry, do you mind?"**_ he asks. 

In this darkness, Taemin is absolutely gorgeous. Jinki's breath is caught in his throat as he stares at the way the young man is standing nearby. The television cloaks him in a soft blue light that highlights his features in a way that the businessman hasn't noticed yet. His hair falls softly across his delicate face and his clothes drape perfectly over his lithe frame. _**"Uh... No... Of course not, go ahead..."**_ he says. Taemin smiles broadly and his face is bright. Somehow, Jinki can feel the room brighten up just because he is there. Butterflies violently fly around in his tummy and he is overcome with admiration for the young musician. There is nothing else Jinki can do but watch him walk slowly back to the couch and sit back down beside him.

There is absolutely no way that Jinki can concentrate on the movie now. He is suddenly conscious of the distance between him and Taemin; painfully aware of every small movement the young man makes. Jinki watched from the corner of his eye as Taemin inhaled sharply at the action-packed scenes. He watched as the young man's lips parted ever so slightly as he listened to the dialogue. He reveled in the beautiful melody of his child-like laughter whenever something funny was said on screen. Jinki had never felt so intensely attracted to someone before in his life and it is almost suffocating him. All he wanted was to watch him, touch him, hold him... He could. He could reach out and touch the young man. He was close enough to pull him close and whisper in his ear. The desire to act on his feelings was growing stronger by the second until he gets rudely interrupted by the buzzing of the door.

 _ **"The food,"**_ Taemin says, his eyes never tearing away from the screen.

 _ **"Oh... Yeah... I'll be right back,"**_ he says, standing up and heading to his bedroom to get his wallet. Once safely inside, he breathes a sigh of relief. He needed a second to get a hold of himself.

_Keep it together, Jinki. You don't want him to think you're taking advantage of him._

He resolves to be on his best behavior and heads back out to see Taemin hugging his knees, completely fixated on the television screen. Jinki chuckles at the adorable sight. 

_This is going to be harder than I thought._

He opens the door, takes the food and pays for it, giving the delivery guy a huge tip. Jinki takes all of the packages and prepares to take them to Taemin when the young man suddenly pauses the movie, turns on the lights and heads over to the kitchen counter. 

 _ **"You don't have to pause it, we can eat while watching..."**_ Jinki says, not wanting to spoil the young man's fun.

 _ **"Don't be silly, hyung. The only acceptable background to food is conversation..."**_ he says with a smile. _**"... And maybe music... If it's mine."**_ he says with a giggle.

The pair take their small feast onto the hardly-used dining table, with Taemin sitting at the head of the table and Jinki comfortably taking a place to his right. The young man sits with his on foot on the chair, his knee close to his body. _**"Is this okay?"**_ he asks.

 _ **"Sit whichever way you want, Taem,"**_ Jinki says with a warm smile. Taemin stops when he hears the nickname. _**"Oh, sorry, am I overstepping? It just slipped out, I'm sorry,"**_ Jinki says, embarrassed at his boldness.

 _ **"No, hyung... It's fine..."**_ the young man says. His heart skipped a beat that this handsome man had found a term of endearment for him. He can't even remember when someone else cared enough to call him anything else than his government name. _**"I like it,"**_ he says with a smile. 

Something warm comes over Jinki. He had been getting somewhere with Taemin and it was making him giddy. He decides to turn his focus on their dinner and prepares all the packages and sauces for his special guest. 

 _ **"Wow... You got everything..."**_ Taemin says, staring at the spread with his eyes growing wider by the second. 

 _ **"I really wasn't sure what you wanted, so there's a bit of everthing... I may have overdone it a bit,"**_ he says.

 _ **"Overdo food? No such thing. I got this. Watch me,"**_ Taemin says with a sly smile on his face. He takes the chopsticks and digs in, immediately stuffing his cheeks. The young man is so happy as he wiggles in a little dance in his chair. _**"Soooo, sooo good..."**_ he groans, the sound completely muffled by the amount of food in his mouth. 

Jinki watches in awe. He elated to watch the young man enjoying so much. _ **"Hyung, aren't you gonna eat?"**_ the young man says, his mouth still filled with food as he manages to squeeze in one more piece of sushi before chewing.

 _ **"I mean, I would, but there might not be enough..."**_ he says with a grin.

It sounded like Jinki was making a joke but the young man can't really be that sure about it. _**"Are you teasing me?"**_ Taemin stops, looking quizically at his hyung.

 _ **"I'm kidding, Taem,"**_ he says, finally using his chopsticks and putting a piece of chicken in his mouth. _**"So... Do you want to play some of your stuff?"**_

 _ **"Huh?"**_ Taemin says.

 _ **"Your music. You said that was the only acceptable background for food,"**_ Jinki says.

 _ **"Uh... Well... I really haven't recorded anything..."**_ he says shyly.

 _ **"Really? Why not?"**_ Jinki asks.

 _ **"It's not that I don't want to... It's just that going to a studio is so expensive... And I can't really do it myself because the equipment is pretty expensive too. It's just expensive either way. But it's alright... I have my busking,"**_ he says, shrugging his shoulders. 

 _ **"Ah, I see..."**_ Jinki says. _**"Can I play you something?"**_

 _ **"Uh... Okay... Sure,"**_ the young man says, quite intrigued.

He watches Jinki silently take out his phone and tap on the screen. He is surprised when he sets it down on the table and music comes on. His heart falls to his stomach as he realizes exactly what they were listening to.

 _ **"That's..."**_  

 _ **"I hope you don't mind..."**_ the older man says, searching Taemin's face for approval. _**"It's just that I never really know when I would see you again, so I kind of..."**_

 _ **"You recorded me,"**_ Taemin says.

 _ **"Yeah... Is that okay?"**_ Jinki says.

Taemin can hardly move as he tries to absorb this new information.

 _ **"I listen to it every night... It helps me sleep..."**_ Jinki says, as Taemin's melodies fill Jinki's house once again. 

It took everything in Taemin to keep from bursting into tears right then and there. He had been working on his music for all of his adult life and had never felt like any of it mattered to anyone. He had always thought of his music as something he did for himself. It never occured to him that it could actually mean something to someone else. The gesture is more than overwhelming. Taemin stares at Jinki with awe and intensity, almost not able to believe what is happening.

 _ **"Taemin? I'm sorry... Did I offend you? I can delete it,"**_ Jinki says nervously.

 _ **"No... It's not that... I just... Thank you,"**_ the young man says.

 _ **"Oh."**_ Jinki says, quite embarrassed.  _ **"I should be the one thanking you..."**_

 _ **"Hyung, look around... I think you've thanked me enough..."**_ Taemin says shyly. 

_**"Trust me. This isn't nearly enough. I wish I could tell you."** _

_**"Try me."**_ Taemin's stare is intense and bore through Jinki's soul. There was nothing more than the older man wanted to do than to tell his new friend everything in his heart, but no words came out. He was happy that someone finally cared, but at the same time, he was deathly afraid of doing or saying something that would drive him away. Jinki's mouth hung open, and Taemin smiles.

 _ **"It's okay, hyung... You really don't have to tell me now... Maybe next time,"**_ he says assuringly.

 _ **"Yeah... Next time..."**_ he says in reply, relieved that Taemin even wants there to be a next time. 

They finish their meal in silence as the rest of Taemin's recordings plays in the background. Both of them were stealing glances at one another, not knowing that the same thing was going on in their minds. The connection that they felt with one another seemed immediate and intense, like they were waiting their whole lives for the other person to arrive. They filled a void in each other that they didn't know that they even had. Suddenly the darkness fell through into an almost blinding light, and they weren't alone anymore. Jinki and Taemin wondered how they got here and how they found each other. One thing was for sure though, they were glad that they did. 

They clean up after themselves and found themselves brushing and bumping into each other as they attempted to clear the table. Each unintended contact gave them a rush and was exciting--only cementing the idea that there was definitely something there. The older man gestures for Taemin to leave him to take care of the garbage and so he heads on over back to the couch. His heart is beating fast and he doesn't understand how he can feel this much for someone he virtually just met.  

 _ **"Are you ready?**_ " Jinki asks, as he turns down the lights again.

He takes his place beside Taemin and they both look over at each other in the dark. Jinki's features are still striking, even in the shadows.  

 _ **"I'm not in the mood for the movie anymore, suddenly..."**_ Taemin says, the tone of his voice changing as much as his gaze. 

Of course Jinki picks up on the change in the atmosphere. It may have been a while, but he wasn't exactly dense--especially not when it came to someone as attractive as Taemin. But he was raised to be a gentleman. He would always show utmost respect despite his own racing heartbeat.  _ **"Oh. Okay... Do you want to go? I'll take you home,"**_ the older man offers.

 _ **"No. I want to stay the night. Let me stay..."**_ Taemin says, unblinking. He takes Jinki's hand and laces it with his, never taking his eyes off him.

 _ **"Taemin... We don't have to... I didn't expect... I'm just happy you're here... I don't want you to think..."**_ the older man stammers.

Taemin shifts his body to turn and face Jinki.  _ **"No, don't... It's okay, hyung. I want this,"**_ he says.

 _ **"Are you sure?"**_  the older man asks nervously.

 _ **"Call me Taem again."**_ he says, with the most intense stare Jinki had ever seen. 


	7. Beautiful

Jinki's touch is as gentle as he was. He caresses Taemin's cheek and the young man leans into it, closing his eyes. Jinki could not break his eyes away from the young man and he is captivated by the thought that he could even reach out and touch him so easily. 

 _ **"Taem... We really don't have to..."**_ Jinki says, wanting to make sure.

_Taem._

A fire ignites in his belly and he is overtaken by desire. _**"Jinki. Be quiet and kiss me,"**_ Taemin says, grasping the sleeve of Jinki's sweater.

Jinki didn't have to be told twice. He moves in nearer and closes his eyes as he presses his lips to Taemin's. The young man's lips were full and soft like pillows and it was so easy to get lost in him. The kiss starts to get deeper and the pair's breathing gets more and more labored. Jinki was having such a hard time stopping himself from being too aggressive when God knows he wanted to. The older man wanted Taemin to control the pace--something the young man took to quite quickly. 

Taemin parted his lips slightly to tell Jinki that he could explore him a bit more. His hands found their way to Jinki's scalp, hungrily tugging at his hair. Jinki couldn't help himself from scooping up Taemin's waist in his arms and drawing him closer. They were so close that Jinki could almost swear that he could feel how fast Taemin's heart was beating. The younger man presses his body against his hyung as a small moan escapes his lips. The sound caught Jinki by surprise and he gets even more turned on. 

The older man finally lets go and lets his hands roam along Taemin's body. He could swear that his brain could almost explode as his hands make their way under Taemin's shirt and runs over his bare skin. The younger man straddles him, swinging one leg over Jinki's body, without ever breaking the kiss. Taemin starts to buck against Jinki's growing erection and it's almost too much for Jinki to bear. The older man reaches under and feels Taemin's hardness. 

 _ **"Hyung..."**_ Taemin moans, as he starts to grind his hips against Jinki's palm.

 _ **"Jesus. You're so fucking sexy..."**_ Jinki breathes. The sensation of Taemin squirming against him is more than enough to make Jinki's own cock twitch beneath him. _**"Not here,"**_ Jinki says, in between breaths. He cups Taemin's face with both his hands and looks into his eyes. _**"Taem, I don't want our first time to be here."**_

 _ **"Okay, then take me to your bedroom,"**_ Taemin says, lust hooding over his eyes and moving out of the way.

Jinki quickly stands up from the couch and tugs at Taemin's hand to lead him through the house. It was like their legs couldn't take them there fast enough, as they sprinted to the bedroom to continue their passionate tryst.

As they step in, Taemin quickly takes off his shirt. Jinki's breath gets stuck in his throat as his eyes crawl over Taemin's naked torso. His frame was slim but he was well-defined. Each curve and dip was a sight that the older man couldn't get enough of. He could almost feel his mouth water as he is filled with even more desire. The intense stare the younger man was giving him was making everything worse. _ **"Cloth for cloth, hyung,"**_ Taemin says, his eyebrows wagging. Jinki is hesitant to bare his body in front of anyone, but he can't let his insecurities get in the way now. _**"C'mon, don't be shy..."**_  Taemin encourages. Jinki places his glasses on the nightstand and starts to lift his shirt over his head, eventually dropping it on the floor.

 _ **"Fuck,"**_ Taemin says emphatically. Jinki's body was surprisingly chisled. His body was obviously taken care of, and almost every inch is covered in muscle. But Taemin couldn't take his eyes off Jinki's chest. It was broad and defined. He wanted nothing more than to run his hands over them slowly. _**"Why the hell would you be shy about that?"**_ Taemin says, licking his lips.

The young man approaches Jinki, kissing him aggressively and instantly kneeling before him. The young man hooks his fingers around the waistband of Jinki's sweatpants and starts to tug down. _**"No,"**_ Jinki says, grabbing Taemin's elbows and lifting him up. _**"I want to do it."**_

He sits Taemin on the edge of the bed and helps him out of his pants and boxers. Jinki pushes Taemin's legs apart, tracing kisses along his inner thighs. Jinki very slowly makes his way to the younger man's already throbbing cock. He licked the length of it from bottom to top, flicking his tongue over the head repeatedly. _ **"Oh my God,"**_ Taemin says breathlessly, gripping his hands on Jinki's hair. It wasn't long before Jinki was bobbing his head up and down, taking the entiretly of Taemin into his throat. 

 _ **"I'm really close,"**_ Taemin says, using every ounce of his strength to keep from screaming bloody murder. With that warning, Jinki takes all of him into his mouth with one swift motion and swallows. That was enough to take Taemin over the edge, and he empties himself into Jinki. The older man eagerly swallows every single drop.

Taemin collapses on to the bed, enjoying the final waves of his orgasm as Jinki crawls over him and lays down, with his back propped up against the bed's headboard. Taemin joins him on the head of the bed, straddling him and taking him in a passionate kiss. It was a bit of an odd sensation for Taemin to be able to taste himself in Jinki's kiss, but it was hot at the same time.   

 _ **"We need to do something about this, don't we,"**_ Taemin says, palming Jinki's throbbing cock through the fabric of his sweatpants. There was no question that the older man was rock hard, and he was shifting in pleasure at Taemin's slightest touch. The younger man does not waste time in tugging all of it away to reveal all of Jinki.

 _ **"Are you kidding me?"**_ Taemin says, as he stares at Jinki for the first time. 

 _ **"What?"**_ Jinki says, suddenly conscious of himself.

 _ **"Now I get why you didn't let me suck you off. I damn well might have choked,"**_ Taemin laughs. Jinki is relieved to hear that he had been satisfactory for the younger. _**"I can still grip it fine... Right?"**_ Taemin says as he takes Jinki's hardness in his hand and give it an initial stroke. A bit of pre-cum seeps out as he does so, and it felt so good that Jinki could not hold in his appreciation.

 _ **"Taem..."**_ Jinki growls, gripping the sheets beside him. Taemin plunges his lips onto Jinki's as he continues to pump his hand up and down.

The older man notices that Taemin was starting to get hard again against his thigh, and he instinctively reached out to grip him in his hand as well. Soon enough, the pair was stroking one another into intense pleasure.

 _ **"Oh shit,"**_ Taemin says. The two gain a steady, delicious rhythm between them. _**"Jinki..."**_ the younger man moans.

 _ **"If you keep moaning my name, I'm not gonna be able to hold off for long,"**_ he says, pleasure building up at the pit of his stomach. Taemin is making him crazy. With each stroke he is yearning more and more for sweet release.

 _ **"Then cum for me, hyung,"**_ Taemin says, looking straight into Jinki eyes. 

That was all Jinki needed. Both men stroke each other more passionately, and the room is filled with the obscene sounds of the bed squeaking and the pair's heavy breathing and cursing. Jinki lets go with an almost primal grunt as he explodes against Taemin's hand. It didn't take long for the young man to follow suit, bucking his hips against the older man's gentle grip.

They ride out the pleasure, their foreheads touching against one another. _**"Shit."**_ Taemin says, breathless. 

*******

Jinki lays on his back, staring at the ceiling, feeling absolutely spent. _**"That was great,"**_ he says, looking over at Taemin.

 _ **"It was okay..."**_ Taemin says, grinning. He was busy cleaning the both of them off with wet wipes but the young man had a mischievous glint in his eye, obviously enjoying teasing Jinki.

 _ **"Just okay, huh?"**_ the older man responds. _**"I guess I'll need to redeem myself."**_ Jinki pulls the sheets over them and scoots over to hold Taemin close. 

Taemin rests his head on Jinki's chest and tries to get into a comfortable position. _**"You guess? You should never guess, Jinki-ssi,"**_ Taemin says, in a mocking voice.

Jinki chuckles, remembering how stern he was with the young man when they first met. Aside from intimacy they just shared, Jinki had really enjoyed his time with the musician. He couldn't help but wonder if he would see him like this again.  _ **"Taemin, was this really okay? That this happened? Are you alright?"**_

 _ **"I really don't know why you keep asking that when I was the one who pushed for this. Do you regret it?"**_ Taemin asks, putting his own feelings about the encounter on hold until he heard what Jinki thought.

 _ **"No... No, of course not. I'm happy,"**_ Jinki says, stroking Taemin's hair.

 _ **"Good. Me too..."**_ the young man says. The silence still doesn't feel like everything was as good as Jinki was making it out to be. There was still obviously something on his mind. _**"Hyung... What is it? Tell me..."**_ Taemin pleads.

Jinki takes a deep breath and places a soft kiss on Taemin's forehead. _ **"I just... I don't want to drive you away... I just found you."**_

 _ **"You're gonna have to try harder than this to get rid of me,"**_ Taemin smiles.

 _ **"Promise?"**_ Jinki asks, turning his head to look into Taemin's eyes.

 _ **"I promise..."**_ the young man says, offering his pinky to Jinki. They lock their fingers together and laugh. 

 _ **"Your sheets are soft,"**_ Taemin says, as he cuddles closer to his hyung. _ **"It's making me sleepy..."**_

 _ **"Then sleep, Taem... I'll be here,"**_ Jinki says softly, stroking Taemin's hair. Slowly, Taemin's eyes close and his breathing becomes slower in Jinki's arms. _**"Beautiful..."**_  the older man whispers, as they both drift off to sleep.

*******

The sunlight breaks through the room and Jinki squirms as it hits him squarely in the face. He wakes up lying on his stomach with the sheets haphazardly draped over him, with a huge smile on his face. He can't quite believe that last night happened.

The older man feels around the bed without turning his head but he couldn't get a grasp on Taemin. He finally opens his eyes to find that he is alone in his room and it is already 9:30 in the morning. 

_Fuck._

He's so late for work, but it was damn worth it. He hadn't been with anyone for so long that he had almost forgotten the bliss of how it felt like to share that kind of pleasure with someone. To think that someone was Taemin was enough to get him excited again. He quickly shakes his head and refocuses. 

 _Get your head out of the gutter. You have a damn job to get to._  

He reluctantly gets up and starts his morning routine, which just basically consists of a shower and dressing up. In no time, he was ready to be out the door when he remembers to bring his cellphone with him. He looks around the room and can't find it anywhere, until he remembers that the last time he used it was on the dining table the night before. He walks out and discovers that Taemin had hauled all of his equipment out of the apartment, and wonders again how he could ever carry all those by himself. He also finds his scarf neatly folded on the coffee table. Memories of the day before filled his head. He couldn't remember the last time he felt so incredibly happy. This was certainly not a one-time thing. He would never allow it.

Jinki found his phone exactly where he thought he would. He picks it up to check his messages and aside from a couple of messages asking if he was coming in for work, there was one from a number that he didn't recognize.

_Hyung, thanks for last night. I had fun, in more ways than one. ;) text me ok? I would love to see you again sometime. -Taem. PS--check your recordings <3_

Jinki hurriedly opens the recording app on his phone and taps on the most recent file. He finds something that had been saved as _"for your collection :)"_ and plays it. He connects his earpods and leaves the house with a huge smile on his face and his lover singing in his ear. 


	8. Knowing You

A crowd bigger than the usual forms around Taemin tonight, and he easily credits it to his new instrument. He sounds better than he ever did before, but what he doesn't realize is that there is a glow coming off of him. Inspiration can do an artist wonders. The audience eagerly applauds him as he finishes his last song for the night. He performed more songs than he usually does, and it's getting late. The shop owner is already giving him a kind but firm side eye, indicating that it was time to pack it up. Taemin says his final thanks and the crowd around him slowly disappears. The young man picks up his tipping hat and a smile forms on his face as he silently counts his earnings for the night. He is relieved to know that he will be able to buy himself a meal today... And tomorrow... And the day after. What a luxury it was to know that he had a couple of days without having to deal with crippling hunger. 

_**"Tonight's a good night, huh?"** _

He looks up to find his new friend looking down at him with a huge smile.

_**"Well, I can see that my work on you is holding up. If you're gonna keep smiling like this, I'm gonna have to charge you everytime you do."** _

They both chuckle, not really because of the inside jokes they just shared but more from the giddiness that they were together again. Truth be told, it was all either of them could think about the whole day. 

 _ **"Hi, Jinki hyung,"**_ Taemin says, standing up from behind his piano to give the man a lingering hug.

 _ **"Hi, Taem."**_ Jinki returns the hug, securely scooping Taemin up in his strong arms. He turns his head just enough to breathe him in a little. God, he missed that scent. 

A shiver travels down both their spines at the touch of the other, but the older man is aware that this may not be the proper spot to make a display of their affection. The shop owner is taking down his outdoor displays aggressively, making a ruckus that can be heard from two blocks away.

 _ **"Need help packing up?"**_ Jinki offers.

 _ **"Do you mind? If I don't get out of here right now, I might not have a place to go back to tomorrow,"**_ Taemin says.

 _ **"Of course I don't. Let's get to it,"**_ the older man says.

The pair works quickly to put everything away and get ready to leave. Taemin thanks the shop owner, and as always, tries to offer him a cut of his earnings. He gets shoo'd away, as always too. He leaves with a _**"You were good today,"**_ and a smile on both their faces. The young man hurriedly gets back to a waiting Jinki who is busy looking around at surrounding shops. 

 _ **"I have such a polished roadie,"**_ Taemin says with a smirk.

 _ **"Roadie? I'm not even your Manager?"**_ Jinki says, with fake shock on his face. 

 _ **"Not even 24 hours on the job and already gunning for a promotion. Ambitious. I like it,"**_ Taemin replies with a small laugh.

 _ **"So, boss. Where to?"**_ Jinki says. 

Taemin thinks hard about the next couple of moves that they are going to take. _**"How about we drop these off back at my place first? I'm only a couple of blocks away from here... Then we can go out for a bite to eat? My treat,"**_ he smiles proudly. It felt good to be able to offer Jinki something in return, even if it was something as small as a modest meal.

 _ **"Ah, a generous boss,"**_ Jinki says appreciatively.

 _ **"I have to take good care of my people,"**_ Taemin says, grinning. 

 _ **"Sounds like a plan,"**_ he smiles.

The two pick up the small amps and different bags of equipment, and head off to their destination. The younger looks towards his new friend. He smiles at the sight of him in a suit working hard to lug his stuff for him. He hadn't seen such a sweet gesture from a man of his stature. He really must be special for someone like Jinki to do this for him when he obviously didn't need to. Taemin revels in the thought that he was being treated with kindness. It's been few and far between.

 _ **"So, what's his name?"**_ Jinki asks.

 _ **"Who?"**_ Taemin asks. 

 _ **"The owner?"**_ Jinki asks in return, gesturing behind him towards the shop.

 _ **"Oh... I just call him hyung..."**_ Taemin says. 

Jinki stops in his tracks, throwing Taemin an incredulous look. _**"You don't even know his name?"**_

 _ **"He doesn't really like to talk! I try to talk to him all the time, but he doesn't really say much,"**_ Taemin says in his defense.

 _ **"You should at least know his name, right... I think he'd appreciate it. Looks like he's a fan too,"**_ Jinki says, starting to walk again. 

 _ **"A fan?"**_ Taemin asks. 

 _ **"Considering what he's doing for you? I think so,"**_ the older man suggests.

 _ **"I'll try to chat with him again tomorrow..."**_ Taemin says.

 _ **"I don't know why you haven't already... Especially when he's kind of cute,"**_ Jinki says with a smile.

It's Taemin's turn to stop in his tracks. _**"Cute, huh?"**_ Taemin lifts his eyebrow up in interest. Jinki is definitely just teasing him, but something inside of him is also bothered. 

 _ **"Jealous?"**_ Jinki says, whipping his head towards the younger man. _**"Don't worry, Taem. He's not as cute as you."**_

 _ **"Excuse you. I'm not cute, I'm hot,"**_ Taemin says with a playful look on his face.

 _ **"Do you think I'm gonna argue with that?"**_ Jinki says with a knowing look on his face. Memories of last night come back to the both of them in a flash and Jinki looks over to find the younger man's face become crimson. It was completely adorable. Taemin's heart flutters and a smile comes on his face naturally, like only Jinki can make him do.

 _ **"There's a lot of us, you know..."**_ Jinki says, trying to change the subject.

_**"Hmm?"** _

_**_**"**_ Fans... There are a lot of us... I'm sure of it,"**_ the older man says with a smile.

Taemin is overjoyed at the thought, but he doesn't really know what else to say in return. He's been doing the music thing for a while but never for one minute did he consider that there was anyone actually listening--that is until he met Jinki. He looks over at his self-proclaimed fan and admires the lengths that this man would go through just to make him feel appreciated. Taemin wonders what he ever did to deserve something like this. How could this one man turn his perspective around this easily?

 _ **"We're here... I'll take these up, you can just wait here,"**_ Taemin says.

 _ **"Nonsense... Let me help."**_ Jinki smiles. Honestly, there was nothing Taemin wanted more than to show his living space to Jinki, just as he showed him his but he decides against it. He just wasn't ready for his hyung to get a wind of that awful landlord who was, by now, virtually stalking him. 

 _ **"It's alright, I can do it,"**_ Taemin says, starting to take some of the bags away from Jinki.

The older man does not want to give up anything. _**"No, let me help... I can--"**_

 _ **"Jinki. Wait here. Okay?"**_ Taemin interrupts.

The insistence in Taemin's voice rattles the older man a bit. It makes him think of the other night, when Taemin chased him down to yell at him. He almost forgot that Taemin had a spunky side that he would have to try to get to know and navigate as well. Jinki knew to leave well enough alone, so he quietly agrees to stay put as Taemin disappears inside the building. It was a few minutes when he reemerges with a new jacket, more appropriate for the chilly weather.

 _ **"Do you eat street food?"**_ Taemin asks.

 _ **"Honestly, it's been a while, but yes. I do,"**_ Jinki answers. 

A huge smile comes across Taemin's face. _**"Great! I know this place... I hope it's okay."**_

 _ **"As long as I'm with you, anything is fine..."**_ the older man answers, as he takes Taemin's hand. 

They walk the rest of the way holding on to each other contentedly and approach a makeshift tent in the middle of the street. Jinki takes a seat while Taemin chooses and pays for what they were going to eat. Jinki hasn't been in one of these in so long, and he finds it a bit comforting to know that Taemin is taking the lead on this one. He watches as the younger man walks closer and takes a seat opposite from him. 

 _ **"I'm sorry for being a bit snippy back there... If we're going to be friends, you have to know that it's never anything anyone else does or doesn't do for me... It's just... I'm very independent..."**_ he says. 

 _ **"Oh... Okay... I get it. Have you always been that way?"**_ Jinki asks.

 _ **"Pretty much. Even when my brother was around, I kept telling him to stop worrying about me. But he never stopped. That's what brothers do, I guess,"**_ Taemin shrugs.

 _ **"So what does he think of your busking?"**_ Jinki asks quite innocently.

 _ **"I... I don't know... I haven't talked to him in a while,"**_ the younger man replies, lowering his eyes at the touchy subject.

 _ **"Oh, I'm sorry..."**_ Jinki says. He wanted to kick himself for not being more sensitive.

 _ **"No, it's okay. I was the one who brought him up,"**_ Taemin says. It's been a long time since he's even thought about Taesun. He doesn't usually feel comfortable thinking about him--let alone talking about him. But somehow, speaking about this with Jinki wasn't really bothering him. He liked it.  _ **"Taesun knows about my music because I've been playing since we were kids... But he doesn't know about the busking. At least I don't think he does."**_ The food arrives at the table and Jinki smiles at the array that Taemin had ordered for them. There were rice cakes, ramen, fish cakes, and of course many side dishes. Both of them were immediately overwhelmed with hunger. The younger man starts to serve his hyung. _**"What about you? Family?"**_

The focus of the conversation shifts to Jinki and the older man is thankful that the food was there so he'd have something else to tinker with. _**"We're good. We talk. But they're all back in Jeju... I'm alone in Seoul,"**_ he answers quietly.  

 _ **"I figured..."**_ Taemin says. 

Jinki takes a deep breath. He had not talked about himself to someone else for such a long time and the conversation was making him nervous. Something about talking with Taemin felt safe. Jinki was willing to push his boundaries for him. _**"I've been alone for a while... It's nice to have someone to talk to,"**_ he smiles at Taemin.

The younger man smiles back warmly. _**"So no friends or anything?"**_ he asks.

 _ **"I have some, but we haven't really kept in touch... Work has been my life..."**_ Jinki answers.

 _ **"I can tell, with the life you've been able to make for yourself,"**_ Taemin says.

 _ **"It's not really much of a life..."**_ Jinki answers. _**"I get up, go to work, go home... Sometimes I buy stuff over the internet or eat out by myself... There's really nothing to look forward to until I found you..."**_ He says, pushing his ramen noodles around with his chopsticks. He looks up to find that Taemin is staring at him with a pensive look on his face. _**"What?"**_

 _ **"So we're just two lonely souls who found each other, huh?"**_ Taemin asks.

 _ **"I guess you could say that,"**_ Jinki smiles.

The pair finished their meal talking about the many things they loved and hated about childhood and growing up. Both of them felt great about spending such a meaningful time with someone else. It was hours before they were forced to leave the place just because it was already closing up. They didn't want to leave at all but they didn't have a choice anymore.

Jinki walked Taemin home the same way they had arrived at the tent: hand in hand, smiling at each other the whole way. It was close to one in the morning, and the streets were less crowded than it was before dinner. The world seemed to make room for the two of them, and the two of them alone. Everything almost felt like a dream. It was amazing to think that they had finally found each other in this way. 

 _ **"Thanks for dinner... It was good,"**_ Jinki says, as they stop in front of Taemin's building. He takes another deep breath as he says what has been in his heart since the night before. _**"Taemin... I hope I can be enough for you."**_

 _ **"Huh?"**_ Taemin asks, absolutely taken by surprise.

 _ **"I mean... I hope you won't be seeing anyone else. Because I won't. I like spending time like this with you,"**_ Jinki says. In the back of his mind, he couldn't imagine that anyone wouldn't want to spend time with or be as interested in Taemin as he was. It was scary to think that he could lose him now. He just wanted to make sure.

 _ **"Oh. I like it too..."**_ Taemin says. Relief washes over Jinki as much as butterflies overtook Taemin's stomach.

 _ **"So it's just gonna be me, right?"**_ the older man asks sheepishly.

Taemin was glad to offer this kind of assurance to Jinki, even at this early point of their special friendship. He meant it too. _**"Yes, hyung. Just you."**_

 _ **"Good,"**_ Jinki smiles, squeezing Taemin's hand.  _ **"Good night, Taem. I'll text you when I get home,"**_ he says. 

 _ **"Good night, hyung."**_ Taemin gives him one last lingering hug before he heads inside for the night. 

Jinki stands there even when the younger man had already been long gone. He wondered what good he had done in his life to have found someone like Taemin. It may have only been a few days, but he knew. He knew love when he saw it. 

*****

The morning starts as usual for Taemin, being awoken by the aggressive knocks from his landlord. Again. He had to keep saying that the money would come soon, even if he really didn't have the slightest idea whether it actually would. Not having a job definitely had its drawbacks. 

As soon as their conversation finished, thoughts of Jinki flooded Taemin's mind. They had spent the last two nights together, and already Taemin was missing him sorely. He thought of texting him but he didn't want to seem too needy. There was really no one else he'd rather spend time with than the old man--even if he was a bit moody. 

It was interesting that Jinki found little ways to take care of him despite his protests. He consistently held doors open, let him walk in first, let him sit first, let him order what he wanted... Even the way Jinki held the small of his back made him feel protected. Truth be told, he liked it. He liked it a lot.

Suddenly, his phone beeps with a text message.

_Jinki Hyung: Hi Taem, are you up?_

_Taem: Hyung :) just got up... You?_

_Jinki Hyung: Get dressed. I'm outside._

_Taem: Are you serious?_

_Jinki Hyung: Hurry. See you ;)_

Taemin jumps up and rushes across his room to get ready. He haphazardly throws on the first things he could grab from his closet and the jacket from last night. He put his cell phone, wallet and keys in his pocket before locking the door behind him and flying down the stairs of his building. He is filled with excitement at the thought of possibly spending another day with the man who has brought so much color to his life in recent days. The young man steps out onto the sidewalk to find Jinki waiting inside his car. 

 _ **"Hyung?"**_ the young man says as he taps on the windows for it to be rolled down. Jinki smiles as his eyes fall upon a still sleepy-eyed Taemin.

 _ **"Come on, get in,"**_ he says. Jinki's dazzling smile is more than enough for Taemin to be jolted wide awake. His heart starts to race again, and he wonders if this could be healthy or harmful so early in the morning.

 _ **"Don't you have work?"**_ Taemin asks, his eyes still adjusting to the sunlight.

 _ **"It's Saturday,"**_ Jinki winks.

 _ **"Oh. Right."**_ Taemin doesn't know if he was just too sleepy to remember or if he just plainly didn't remember what day of the week it was.

 _ **"Let's go, I have somewhere to take you,"**_ Jinki says.

_**"Where?"** _

_**"Just get in..."** _

_**"Not until you tell me where we're going,"**_ Taemin says sternly.

_**"Are you always this stubborn?"** _

_**"Only when cute guys in nice cars tell me to get in,"**_ he smiles.

Jinki smiles at the hidden message that Taemin probably didn't realize was included in his statement. _**"So I'm cute?"**_

The young man rolls his eyes as his irritation goes up a bit. _**"Where are we going, hyung?"**_

 _ **"I really hope you won't make me ruin the surprise,"**_ Jinki says, pleadingly.

 _ **"I also hope you know that this is how pretty young things vanish and get murdered."**_  

_**"Are you saying you don't trust me?"** _

_**"You can never be too careful,"**_ Taemin teases.

 _ **"We can do this all day, Taem... It's your call,"**_ he says, shifting back into his seat and waiting for Taemin to get into the car.

Helpless, Taemin opens the door to the front passenger's seat and finally gets in--much to the delight of Jinki. _**"Do you know calling me Taem makes me putty in your hands?"**_

 _ **"Good to know,"**_ the older man says with a smile.

 _ **"You're such a brat,"**_ Taemin says, frowning as he struggles to put on the seatbelt.

 _ **"Oh, I'M the brat?"**_ Jinki says.

 _ **"It's either that or a serial killer,"**_ the younger man says, throwing his driver for the day a mischievous grin. 

_**"Why does it have to be either of those two?"** _

_**"Because I said so?"** _

_**"Right. That's not brat behavior at all,"**_ Jinki says, pulling finally pulling out of the parking space and driving away.

 _ **"You're the brat,"**_ Taemin says under his breath, sinking into the passenger's seat. _**"Oooh, is this breakfast?"**_ he says, eyeing the coffee and paper bag he finds in the car.

 _ **"Kind of. Just something to get you through the morning. Get what you want... I'll get what you don't choose."**_  

 _ **"Thanks..."**_ Taemin says, as he digs in and excitedly takes a bite of the bread. _**"Are you really not going to tell me where we're going?"**_

 _ **"You'll see,"**_ Jinki says. _**"Did you get to rest well?"**_

 _ **"Yeah, I did... I had a pretty good night,"**_ the young man says. He takes Jinki's right hand and laces it with his, offering him a bite of what he was eating. 

 _ **"Sweet,"**_ Jinki says with a warm smile.

 _ **"Thanks,"**_ Taemin replies. 

 _ **"I meant the bread,"**_ Jinki teases.

_**"I changed my mind. You're definitely a serial killer."** _

Jinki chuckles as he glances at Taemin who is also grinning at him. The young man was thoroughly enjoying his morning snack and turns his attention on the iced americano in the cup holder. Jinki cutely asks for a sip as he pulls into an indescript building with a single neon sign. Taemin's eyes become wide as he realizes exactly where Jinki has taken him.

 _ **"Here we are,"**_ the older man says.

 _ **"Hyung...?"**_ he asks for confirmation.

 _ **"It's really not right that you haven't recorded any of your stuff,"**_ Jinki says.

_**"Hyung, I can't afford this."** _

_**"It's taken care of,"**_ Jinki says, pulling into a parking space and turning off the engine.

_**"Hyung... No. I couldn't possibly. This is all too much."** _

_**"If it really bothers you that much, then you can pay me back when you're able. No pressure,"**_ Jinki says, intertwining Taemin's hand with his.

_**"Are you sure?"** _

_**"Yes, I'm sure,"**_ the older man says.

 _ **"... Thank you,"**_ Taemin says, not really knowing what else to say. He is so overwhelmed by the gesture that it is taking all of his might to keep from crying his eyes out so early in the morning. _**"I'll pay you back, I promise."**_

 _ **"Don't worry about it. Have fun..."**_ Jinki says. 

They stay silent inside the car for a while as Taemin tries to get a hold of himself, nervously sipping on the cup of iced coffee. Jinki reaches over to caress his cheek and that somehow helps a lot.

 _ **"Will you stay?"**_ the young man asks.

_**"Can I?"** _

_**"I'd rather you were there... I'm suddenly so nervous..."**_  Taemin says. The older man notices his hands turn cold and his voice start to shake. 

 _ **"You'll do great, Taem. You always do,"**_ he says lovingly.

 _ **"Seriously... Where did you come from, Jinki?"**_ Taemin says, leaning in for a kiss.

*****

Taemin and Jinki play the finished track in the car. It was a rough cut, and definitely needed a producer to work with but it felt so good for Taemin to have professionally recorded tracks. Jinki was smiling from ear to ear at how crisp and clear everything had sounded, and Taemin's eyebrows were furrowed as he listened to each sound quite critically. 

 _ **"Do I sound weird? I feel like I sound weird,"**_ he says.

 _ **"Of course you don't. You have one of the prettiest voices. And I'm not saying that just because I'm biased,"**_ Jinki says, turning into his apartment building.

Taemin's phone rings suddenly and he groans when he sees the number on the screen. 

 _ **"Aren't you going to get that?"**_ asks Jinki.

 _ **"It's my landlord,"**_ Taemin says.

 _ **"Then you should get it,"**_ Jinki says.

Taemin reluctantly taps on his phone to let the call through. _**"Hello?"**_ The young man whispers into his device but Jinki can still clearly hear everything Taemin is saying. _**"No... I've been out the whole day... Don't worry, I'm getting it together... Look, I'm doing my best... I'll get it to you when I can, okay? I have to go... Yeah... Bye."**_ The young man's mood definitely changes as he hangs up the phone.

 _ **"Is everything okay?"**_ Jinki asks.

 _ **"Yeah, she's just being uptight about the rent, that's all. I have it under control,"**_ Taemin says.

 _ **"You sure?"**_  

_**"Yeah... Can we not talk about it? I had the most amazing day, I don't want to ruin it."** _

It was almost sundown now. To record all of Taemin's tracks took them the whole day. They were both holed up in that studio for hours but neither of them minded. Taemin, in particular, had the time of his life. It was his first time in a professional recording studio and each little experience was precious to him. He thought that he couldn't have the chance to even come close to anything better than the keyboard Jinki had purchased for him but the studio had stuff he had only read about online. The sound engineers were kind enough to say that Taemin had real potential. One of them even said that he would pass along his demos to some of the producers he worked with. The young man was giddy at the thought that his music career could finally have some sort of direction. He had demos now. Amazing.

 _ **"Can we just hang out tonight? I think I don't have the energy to go busking after singing almost the entire day,"**_ Taemin asks.

 _ **"Of course. Are you hungry?"**_ Jinki says as he presses the elevator button going up to his place. 

 _ **"Always,"**_ Taemin says. 

 _ **"Okay, let's order something... I think I'm in the mood for pizza. Do you want pizza?"**_ The older man asks. Taemin nods his head shyly.

 _ **"Thank you so much for today, hyung..."**_ Taemin says, grabbing Jinki's arm and leaning his head on the older man's shoulder.

The elevator doors open and they walk with laced hands towards Jinki's place. 

 _ **"I have to admit that it wasn't completely selfless..."**_ Jinki says, opening the door. _**"Since you left that special recording for me, I've been wanting a clear copy of your other songs."**_ As soon as they were in the apartment Jinki pulls Taemin in for a long embrace and a passionate kiss.  _ **"I was so proud of you today,"**_ Jinki whispers, his arms around Taemin's waist.

The young man smiles and leans his head on Jinki's chest. _**"Thank you, hyung."**_

That one night of hanging out turned into a completely blissful weekend. Taemin finally got to watch all those superhero movies he wanted, and Jinki wasn't left alone to pass the days in an empty apartment. Learning to be around each other was a joy that neither of them wanted to end.

 


	9. Let Me Be

Jinki is interrupted from reviewing one of the pending projects when Taemin storms into his office unannounced.

 _ **"Did you pay for my rent?"**_ the young man asks, holding a receipt in his hand with an angry look on his face.

 _ **"Sir, I'm sorry, he just came in here and I couldn't stop him,"**_ Jinki's secretary says.

 _ **"It's alright, Seulgi. You can leave us. It's okay,"**_ Jinki says. 

 _ **"I can call security, Sir,"**_ she says.

 _ **"Not necessary... This is a personal matter. It's okay,"**_ Jinki says as he stands up and starts to close the door for a bit more privacy.

 _ **"Okay, Sir..."**_ His secretary shrinks away with a concerned look on her face before she is completely shut out of the room.

 _ **"Hi, Taem,"**_ Jinki says, returning to his desk. _**"What's wrong?"**_

 _ **"My landlord slipped this under my door this morning. Answer the question: Did you pay for my rent?"**_ Taemin asks, obviously trying to keep calm.

 _ **"I couldn't let that woman keep hounding you like that,"**_ Jinki says.

_**"OH MY GOD. Three months worth, Jinki? You can't just do that! I know you have a lot of money, but you can't keep throwing it at me like this!"** _

_**"Your rent was due,"**_ Jinki says.

_**"I know that! I was going to pay it when I could!"** _

_**"How?"** _

_**"I... I don't know! But I would have found a way. I always find a way,"**_ Taemin thinks of all the times that he had saved himself from life's precarious situations. He struggled but he always made it through, and he was damn proud of that. He didn't need a savior to undermine all his efforts now.

 _ **"It doesn't matter now. You already paid,"**_ Jinki replies.

 _ **"No, I didn't! You did!"**_ Taemin says, throwing his hands in the air. _**"You're really putting me in an awkward position. I have no idea how I'm supposed to pay you back, Jinki,"**_ he says.

 _ **"I never said you had to,"**_  the older man says.

 _ **"That's not the point!"**_ the young man says. Taemin is so frustrated that he was trying to keep from crying. He knew Jinki didn't mean it, but he was making Taemin feel so small and useless right now.  _ **"Look, I don't want to seem ungrateful, because I'm totally grateful, but you can't keep doing this! In the past week, you've given me an expensive gift, treated me to dinner, paid for my recording sessions and now rent? I can't live like this, Jinki. I really, really can't. You have to let me be!"**_

The older man stands there, embarrassed by his actions. He only wanted to help. He was ashamed to admit that he didn't even think to ask Taemin if he would be comfortable with everything. _**"I'm sorry..."**_ Jinki says, trying to pull Taemin in for a hug.

 _ **"Know what, just don't. I really like you, but I need some time, okay? I'll call you later,"**_ Taemin says as he storms out of the office.

Jinki stops himself from running after Taemin. He is rattled by the confrontation but he completely understands where Taemin is coming from. No matter how well-intentioned he is, he cannot just step into someone's personal affairs like that--especially when Taemin wasn't even his boyfriend yet. If Taemin wanted time, time was what Jinki was going to give him. 

 _ **"Sir? Are you okay?"**_  Seulgi says, peeking her head into Jinki's office.

 _ **"Yeah, I'm fine... Could you get me next week's schedule? I'd like to review the timelines for this project,"**_ Jinki says.

_**"Right away, Sir."** _

*****

Taemin huffs down the street, still furious about his encounter with Jinki. The older man did not understand just how much Taemin took pride in his independence. It was something that he was just going to have to learn how to handle if he wanted to be with Taemin for the long run. Just then, the young man's phone starts to ring.

 _ **"What?"**_ he says with an irritated tone.

 _ **"Uh... Hi... Is this Lee Taemin-ssi?"**_  

He didn't recognize the voice on the other line at all and looked quickly at the number on his phone screen to see who was calling. It was an unknown number.

_**"Yeah...? Who's this?"** _

_**"Oh, great! Hi! My name is Kim Jonghyun. I'm a producer at SM Entertainment and right now I'm at the studio you recorded at last weekend. I heard one of your demos. Is this a good time to talk?"** _

_**"What?"** _

_**"I said my name is Kim Jonghyun--"** _

_**"Yeah, sorry, I heard that... I was just... You heard my demos?"** _

_**"I did, and I think there's something there. I'd like to work with you, if that's okay... Maybe we could talk about it more when you're free..."** _

_**"YES! Yes, I'm always free! Wow! Okay. Just text me the address and what time, and I'll be there! I promise!"**_ Taemin says excitedly.

 _ **"Okay, I will... Thanks, Taemin-ssi! I'll talk to you soon,"**_ says Jonghyun on the other line.

 _ **"OH MY GOD!!!"**_ Taemin screams on the sidewalk, jumping up and down. He didn't care that so many people turned to stare at him as he ran to the train station to get back home as soon as he could.

*****

Jinki gets off at the sixth station as usual on this cold autumn night. He almost ran out of breath when it seemed like his feet couldn't take him any faster to Taemin's busking spot. He was on edge the whole day and couldn't concentrate when all he could think about was making amends with Taemin. The young man hadn't texted or called him, and he was getting a bit worried. He really didn't want to ruin what they had, and he was more anxious about meeting him that night more than he had ever been for anything in this entire life. But when he got there... There was no Taemin to be found.

 _ **"Uh... Hi..."**_ Jinki says, approaching the shop owner. _**"Did Taemin come in tonight?"**_

 _ **"Taemin? The busker? No, no sign of him tonight..."**_ he says, arranging his outdoor display of clothes.

 _ **"Oh. Okay..."**_ Jinki says, disappointed. _**"Did he come here earlier today, or...?"**_

 _ **"No, he wasn't here earlier, either,"**_ the shop owner says. _**"You're the boyfriend, right?"**_  

 _ **"Uh... Sort of,"**_ Jinki says, a bit embarrassed.

 _ **"You don't 'sort of' walk along the streets holding hands, you just do,"**_ the shop owner grins.

 _ **"You saw us?"**_ Jinki asks.

 _ **"The whole neighborhood saw you, honey. It's okay. No judgments here. We're all on the same boat. You guys make a really cute couple,"**_ he says with a warm smile.

Jinki's heart flutters at the stranger's observations. He decides to be more friendly than he initially wanted to. _**"My name is Lee Jinki... Thank you for all that you do for Taemin. I know he appreciates you a lot,"**_ he says, holding out his hand.  

 _ **"Hi, Jinki-ssi. The name's Kim Kibum, but you can call me Key. I own the place. I appreciate Taemin a lot too, it's no big deal. I've had a hell of a lot more customers since he started playing in front of my store,"**_ he says. The two shake hands and Jinki found comfort in being right in his initial assessment of the shop owner.

 _ **"Are these your designs?"**_ Jinki asks, looking through the racks.

 _ **"Yup. I designed and constructed every piece you see here. I'd like to call myself a fashion designer but I think that doesn't apply to small-time shops like mine,"**_ Kibum laughs.

 _ **"Well, this is nice,"**_ Jinki says, holding up a classic, white button down shirt. _**"You can never have too many of these."**_

 _ **"Do you want it? It's on sale,"**_ Kibum says.

 _ **"Okay, sure. Why not,"**_ the older man says as he smiles warmly at his new friend.

 _ **"Let me ring it up for you... I'll be right back,"**_ he says. _**"Hey, do you know where Taemin lives? I'm pretty sure he might be there. You should drop by if you're keen on finding him."**_

 _ **"Thanks for the tip, Key-ssi. And thanks for my new shirt,"**_ Jinki says.

 _ **"No problem, honey,"**_ he says with a wink.

*****

Jinki's heart races as he knocks on Taemin's door. He had bought a bouquet of flowers and some chicken before he came up. He really didn't want to come empty-handed, especially if Taemin was still upset at him. He knocks for the third time but the young man doesn't answer the door. He knew there was someone there because the lights were on and he could hear what sounded like light tapping, possibly from a keyboard, but he was just left standing there. He smiled awkwardly at Taemin's neighbors who passed by, probably wondering what a guy in a suit was doing standing there with a bunch of flowers. He decides to pull his phone out and try to call the young man. Taemin picks up on the second ring.

_**"Hi, hyung..."** _

_**"Hi, Taem... Are you still mad at me?"** _

He hears the young man sigh loudly from the other line and from behind the door. _**"No... I'm sorry I lost my cool..."**_ he says.

 _ **"That's good, because I'm right outside your door,"**_ Jinki says. He suddenly hears a loud shuffling of feet coming from the apartment.

 _ **"Huh?"**_ Taemin says over the phone as the door swings open. _**"Hyung..."**_ Taemin says, with tears in his eyes and his phone still pressed to his ear.

 _ **"These are for you,"**_ Jinki says, handing him the flowers. _ **"I'm really sorry... It won't happen again."**_

 _ **"I'm sorry too, hyung."**_ Taemin drops the call and shoves his phone in his pocket. He throws his arms over Jinki's neck and kisses him passionately. _**"Let's not fight again."**_

 _ **"Never again,"**_ Jinki says, as he pulls Taemin's waist closer to his. The two smile at each other and Taemin moves away from the door to let the older man enter the room. 

Taemin's place was nothing at all like Jinki's. It was small and cramped and the only free space was on the floor, which was currently occupied by Taemin's keyboard. The bed was folded up neatly against one of the walls and there was a very small sink and makeshift kitchen opposite it. But it was neat. And it had a lot of trinkets and pictures taped on the walls that made it feel like an actual home. There were pictures of Taemin in his recitals and one large framed picture of someone who had Taemin in a tight embrace. Jinki immediately knew that was his beloved brother. 

 _ **"I brought chicken..."**_ Jinki says, wondering where to set it down. Taemin smiles and takes the package away from his hyung.

 _ **"Great! I'm starving..."**_ he says, as he pushes his keyboard out of the way and takes out mats and small tables for eating. 

 _ **"You're always starving,"**_ Jinki teases, as he helps. 

In no time, they were seated comfortably on the floor, eating the chicken dinner that Jinki had brought. The two were easily enjoying each other's company like nothing happened.  

 _ **"Hyung... I don't want to make it any worse than it is but I really want you to understand something about me..."**_ Taemin says. Jinki knows how serious this has to be, and he leans forward to listen intently. The young man takes a deep breath as he prepares to open up about his life. _**"The reason why I don't talk to Taesun anymore is because I hate being a burden to someone I love. Taesun is the best brother anyone could ever want... And when our parents couldn't take care of us, he took the responsibility... It was really hard on him. He would try to hide it from me everyday, but I knew. One day, I saw a letter in the trash. It was an acceptance letter from a university... He got a full scholarship. But he told me he wasn't going to go because he couldn't leave me... So I left him. We haven't spoken since..."**_ the young man says. There were tears in his eyes as he recounts the most painful part of his past to Jinki. _**"That's why I got so angry today. Hyung, I care about you a lot... And I hate feeling like I'm a burden to you. I hate feeling small and useless in my own life. I know I'm struggling now, but I don't want to be. This is temporary. You have to trust me,"**_ Taemin says.

 _ **"You could never be a burden to me, Taem..."**_ Jinki says, wiping the younger man's tears away. 

 _ **"Do you understand, hyung? You need to let me be me... Even if it means seeing me suffer sometimes... I need that,"**_ Taemin says.

 _ **"Yeah, Taem... I get it... I hope you know that you can lean on me too,"**_ Jinki says.

 _ **"I do... Thank you..."**_ Taemin says, coming in closer for a hug. Jinki eagerly holds the young man in his arms.

 _ **"Hey, do you want to hear some great news?"**_ Taemin asks. 

 _ **"Always,"**_ Jinki says, taking a piece of chicken. 

 _ **"Remember when the sound engineer said he would shop my demo around? Guess what. One of the producers from SM Entertainment called me today. He said my stuff had potential and he'd like to meet me!"**_ Taemin says excitedly.

 _ **"NO WAY!"**_ Jinki says.

 _ **"Yeah! I have a meeting with him on Thursday afternoon! Isn't that great?"**_ Taemin says, going in for a big bear hug.

 _ **"That's so awesome, Taem! I'm so proud of you!!"**_ Jinki says.

 _ **"That's why I came straight home... I wanted to figure out which songs I could show him, and I also wanted to practice and stuff... I had my earphones on the whole time, that's why I didn't hear you..."**_ Taemin says, apologetically.

 _ **"Oh, that's completely fine, Taem. I'm so happy for you! This is so exciting!"**_ he says. 

 _ **"Yeah... How about you, how did your day go?"**_ Taemin asks.

 _ **"Work was the usual... Boring... But I did get to talk to the shop owner when I was looking for you,"**_ Jinki says.

 _ **"Oh?"**_ Taemin says.

 _ **"Yeah, his name is Key and he sold me a shirt,"**_ Jinki says, pointing at the bag on the floor.

 _ **"You bought a shirt? You didn't need to buy a shirt,"**_ Taemin says with a pout forming on his face.

 _ **"It was on sale, Taem. That's the only reason why,"**_ Jinki says.

 _ **"Since when do you care about a sale,"**_ Taemin says, getting up to rinse one of the dishes on the sink. Jinki was suddenly left alone at the makeshift dinner table, and he knew that Taemin hadn't liked his story. Jinki gets up and hugs Taemin from behind.

 _ **"Taem...? You aren't jealous of Key, are you?"**_ Jinki says, wrapping the young man tighter in his embrace.

 _ **"You said he was cute and you talked to him and you bought a shirt,"**_ Taemin says, banging the dishes. 

 _ **"Taem..."**_ Jinki says, swinging the young man around to face him. _**"You're crazy if you think I have eyes for anyone else..."**_ Jinki says, as he leans in for a gentle kiss. 

 _ **"Good... Because you're mine..."**_ Taemin says. 


	10. Stubborn

Taemin sat in the lobby of SM Entertainment, waiting for his appointment with Kim Jonghyun. He did his research before coming here and he knew that the man was responsible for some of the biggest hits of the last three years. He also knew that like all the greats, he was probably artistic and tempermental so he would have to be on his best behavior. The young man's heart was beating rapidly at the possibility that this successful producer wants to work with him. This was an incredible opportunity for Taemin and he didn't want it to go to waste at all. Jinki had been on the phone with him until the time that he was went inside the building, trying to simultaneously build his confidence and calm him down. There was a part of him that still believed that this was too good to be true. Jinki did his best to assure him that he was plenty good enough to be there, despite Taemin's half-hearted protests. The young man plays with the security badge, as if it were a lifeline to reality. He kept trying to convice himself that he was really sitting there; this was really happening.  

 _ **"Lee Taemin?"**_ the receptionist asks. _**"They're ready for you. Fourth floor, Studio 8B. Elevators are down the hall to the right."**_

 _ **"Okay... Thank you very much,"**_ Taemin says, bowing politely.

_They? Who's they?_

The young man's heart started to race at the unexpected development and he decided that he wasn't at all ready to face people who could potentially be over-critical about his music. When it came to his work, Taemin was defensive... Protective. Maybe it was because, through the years, his songs were the closest thing he had to a companion.

He could easily play the piano for people, no worries--it was the singing that posed a problem. It took him months to get comfortable even singing in front of the mirror, and more months before he could open his mouth in front of strangers. His voice was so unique that it made it awkward to sing anyone else's songs. Some people had suggested that he sing his own stuff, but he never imagined that he would. Those melodies were for his ears only--a way to express what was in his heart. But the one time he had tried to do it, he got more tips than he had ever gotten in his entire life, and performing his original material suddenly became a regular thing.

Apart from all that, the struggle he has had to endure the past five years was no laughing matter. As much as people had come to applaud him now, he had his share of having to deal with complete assholes. One incident in particular is burned into his mind when he stepped into Key's shop for ten seconds to return to his tipping hat completely covered in street food and soda, courtesy of those stupid neighborhood teenagers. It was a good thing Key-ssi had taken pity on him and gave him another hat that he could use, free of charge. He could have never washed those sticky sauces out.

Name it, and Taemin has probably endured it. He had been booed, cursed, laughed at... One time he had been hit in the face by a rotting head of cabbage thrown at him by an irritated ahjumma. It was like a never-ending parade of stupid.

Some of the fellow buskers could be jerks as well. He was walking home one night from his old job when he heard what sounded like his song being performed by someone else. Astonishingly, the plagiarising busker wasn't even apologetic about stealing his stuff. Neither of them had proof that the other one was lying, so what else could Taemin do but walk away?

The elevator doors open and he hurriedly looks for the correct studio. It crossed his mind to run out of there, but it was too late. He had to push through. He reaches the middle of the corridor and stopped in front of the door marked 8B, just as the receptionist had directed him.

He suddenly longed for those days when he was younger and he he had stars in his eyes. All those years ago, he believed that if he could just get in front of people and sing his music, things would start to magically happen and all his dreams could come true. Today was a pivotal moment. Maybe the magic was still alive.

He pressed the doorbell and the heavy, soundproof door slowly opened for him.

 _ **"Hello, good afternoon,"**_ Taemin says bowing deeply. He kept bowing as he stepped into the room. The young man didn't even get the chance to see the faces of the people inside before he started bouncing up and down furiously. 

 _ **"Hi, Taemin-ssi,"**_ a man in a black sweater and eyeglasses says. He tries to return the intensity of Taemin's bows but he was just no match for the nervous young man. _**"Hey, it's okay. We don't have to be so formal with one another,"**_ he says. _ **"I'm the one who called you on the phone, Kim Jonghyun. This is my producing partner Kim Taeyeon and you might know this guy as one of the company's artists, Choi Minho. Everyone, this is the guy I was telling you about, Lee Taemin."**_

Handshakes were exchanged and Taemin hoped to God that none of them would notice how clammy his hands were. 

 _ **"We just listened to your demo, and you're pretty good!"**_ Taeyeon says quite warmly. 

Jonghyun struggles to find the right words to say as he casts his eyes towards Taemin for a more careful look.  _ **"I was thinking that I had found another songwriter, but I think I would have to reassess that. You look like you could be an idol!"**_  he finally says.

The young man really didn't know how to respond to these amazing compliments he was getting. These were producers that he looked up to... People who were already so established in the industry. He mumbled a soft thank you and cast his eyes downward. He didn't want to appear disrespectful or arrogant--especially not on their first meeting.

_Be on your best behavior, Lee Taemin._

_**"Taemin-ssi... I'll get right to it. Jonghyun and I have been looking for a songwriter to team up with for a long time, and we think that you could give us that synergy we've been looking for. I can't tell you how excited I was when I heard your songs. It fits really, really well with our style,"**_ Taeyeon says. 

 _ **"My stuff? Really?"**_ Taemin says. He wanted to pinch himself so bad. He couldn't believe this was happening.

 _ **"Your material is really good. Raw, but solid. I think the three of us could make a pretty good team and churn out a few hits... That is, if you're interested. It really depends on what you have planned,"**_ Jonghyun says.

 _ **"So Taemin-ssi, tell us... What are your plans?"**_ Taeyeon asks.

_**"S-sorry?"** _

_**"What are your goals for your career? We want to know if a working relationship could potentially fit into your long-term plans,"**_ Jonghyun says.

 _ **"Well... This is all a bit overwhelming to me, but if I can be honest with you guys... I really would like to be able to reach a larger audience... And I'd like to be the one to do it,"**_ Taemin says, confidently. He honestly has no idea where this sudden surge of sureness is coming from. 

 _ **"So you want to be an artist too... That can still work..."**_ Taeyeon says.

 _ **"You're smothering the poor guy. Give him some space to breathe,"**_ Minho says. _**"Sorry, Taemin-ssi. These two are acting like sharks who smell blood in the water, don't mind them."**_

 _ **"Minho is getting ready for his debut as a singer, and we're trying to put together material for him. We'd really like it if you could work on this with us... Maybe feature on a song, if possible. We'd have to work out a few details, but this is a great way to get your career started as both a songwriter and a singer,"**_ Taeyeon says.

 _ **"So what do you say?"**_ Jonghyun says.

 _ **"I-I... I don't know... Wow. This is all happening so fast,"**_ Taemin says.

 _ **"That's the industry isn't it? You toil for years and then one day--SURPRISE! You're on your way up the stage to receive a Korean Music Award,"**_ Jonghyun says, waving his hand in the air. 

 _ **"You really find ways to bring that up all the time, don't you?"**_ says Minho, rolling his eyes.

 _ **"It's very prestigious,"**_ Taeyeon says sarcastically, winking at Minho. Theye both laugh at their friend's back-handed bragging. 

 _ **"Well, I do have a couple of new songs, I've been working on, but they're not ready at all."**_ Taemin closes his eyes in regret as soon as the words fly out of his mouth. 

 _ **"Play it for us,"**_ Taeyeon says.

_**"What?"** _

_**"You could play it for us. There's a piano right here,"**_ Minho says, pointing to a state-of-the-art keyboard on the far side of the room.

 _ **"I-it's really not ready..."**_  Taemin replies.

 _ **"That's fine! That's what we're here for."**_ Taeyeon says.

The young man looks around and finds all three waiting with eager anticipation. They already liked his music a lot. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. When would he have another chance like this?

 _ **"Okay,"**_ Taemin says, as he takes a seat in front of the piano. His hands were shaking and he was racking his brain trying to remember all the chords and lyrics he had written the other night. Somehow, deep down, he knew that his time was now. He had a gut feeling that there would never be anything as big as this that would come along. This was his shot and he was going to take it. He just prayed that he wouldn't suck so much doing it. _**"Here goes nothing..."**_

*****

Taemin steps out into the autumn air and he wasn't irritated at all. He finally felt like all the years of struggle had finally paid off, and things were going his way for once. It was a beautiful day... Or... night. The sun is setting later and later lately and he barely noticed that he had stayed so long in the studio that it was actually dinnertime. He was so happy that he almost didn't see the handsome man leaning on his handsome car waiting for him.

 _ **"Hyung!"**_ The young man all but runs to Jinki's side in zero seconds flat. 

 _ **"I missed you... How did it go?"**_ Jinki asks, wrapping his arms around Taemin and going in for a quick peck on the lips.

_**"It went so well!"** _

_**"I knew it would."** _

The pair gets into the car and quickly drive away. They were eager to make it back to the older man's apartment and away from the outside world. Jinki had never seen Taemin this excited. His eyes were dancing and his cheeks were flush with a soft pink. Instinctively, the older man knew that the boy sitting in the passenger seat of his car was deliriously happy. 

_**"So tell me more! What happened?"** _

_**"Hyung, it was amazing!"**_ Taemin says, his eyes lighting up with every word.  _ **"They told me that they were looking for a songwriter and asked me what I wanted to do with my career. When they said that I wanted to be an artist too, they said they were all for it! Turns out the actor Choi Minho is preparing for his debut as a singer, and it looks like they're interested in using my stuff for him. I could even make it onto the album as a featured artist! Hyung, seriously, it couldn't have gone better. I even played them some of the new songs I've been working on!"**_  The young man was talking so fast that he had actually run out of breath. 

 _ **"Oh... You did?"**_ Jinki knew how happy Taemin was, and he tried his best to hide his concern... A total failure.

 _ **"Yeah..."**_ Taemin says, sensing the shift in mood. _**"Is there something wrong?"**_

_**"No, nothing's wrong... It's just... Maybe you shouldn't have played them the new songs so soon..."** _

_**"What do you mean? They loved it..."**_ Taemin asks, confused.

_**"I think that maybe you should have waited to get to know them a bit better before you played them anything new, that's all..."** _

_**"But we had a really good time. I was really comfortable sharing my stuff and my thoughts, and that rarely happens. They were open and they seemed to respect me a lot as an artist. They even had ideas for the songs already... They told me to come back next week so we could start working on it..."** _

_**"You're going back to work on it already? Isn't that a little fast?"** _

_**"Hyung... I really appreciate it, but I don't really need your input here,"**_ the young man was starting to get more and more irritated. 

_**"I was just saying..."** _

Jinki knew that he was treading on thin ice. He could feel it. But he wasn't the only one doing a bad job of hiding his true feelings.

 _ **"I'm perfectly capable of making my own decisions,"**_ Taemin says firmly.

 _ **"I know you are, Taem..."**_ Jinki says, looking nervously at Taemin. He knew he needed to back off but it was like he was possessed. He couldn't stop his own lips from saying what he felt was needed to be said. No one was going to hurt Taemin--not on his watch. _ **"Did they give you a contract?"**_

 _ **"No. They did not give me a contract,"**_ he replies sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

 _ **"Then maybe you should ask for one and then I'll have my lawyer look over it for you,"**_ Jinki says with a little bit more care in the tone of his voice.

_**"If they're serious, I'm sure they'll give me one soon. Hyung, what are you trying to say?"** _

_**"I want to make sure that all your bases are covered,"**_ the older man says.

_**"Bases? What bases? What's the big deal? It was an informal meeting, they just wanted to see if we would click."** _

_**"Are you sure you're not letting yourself be carried away by your excitement?"**_ Jinki asks.

_**"What's that supposed to mean?"** _

_**"Taemin, how do you even know that they didn't already record you when you were there? It's a big company and you're not part of it, at least not yet. You should watch your back,"**_ the older man replies, his voice a growing a lot more stern. How could he protect Taemin when Taemin himself wouldn't let him?

 _ **"Really?"**_ Taemin whips his head around and gives Jinki one of his patented are-you-kidding-me looks.  _ **"I want to be perfectly clear: I will not let you take this away from me. This is one of the best days of my life, and you're completely ruining it!"**_

 _ **"I'm not against you, I'm just trying to look out for you,"**_ Jinki tells him as calmly as he possibly can. His patience is tested as Taemin grates on his nerves in all the wrong ways.

_**"Are you trying to look out for me or are you trying to control me?"** _

_**"I think we both know that I could never control you,"**_ Jinki says. 

_**"Well you're doing a pretty good job of it now, aren't you?"** _

That was it. Jinki couldn't keep a lid on it anymore. Any grasp the older man had over his the tone and loudness of his voice, and the expressions on his face were completely gone. The discussion had become a full-on fight. _**"If you could drop the attitude, maybe you could really hear what I'm trying to tell you. There's nothing wrong with making sure you're not being taken advantage of!"**_

 _ **"I'm already telling you that they wouldn't do that!"**_ Taemin screams back.

_**"How do you know?"** _

_**"I just know okay! I'm a pretty damn good judge of character!"** _

_**"From one meeting?"** _

_**"It worked with you, didn't it?"**_ Taemin says.

Checkmate. There was nothing more the older man could say in response. Jinki grabs the steering wheel of the car so hard that his knuckles turn white. It was a new sensation to want to hug Taemin and throw him out of the car at the same time. Leave it to him to push Jinki's buttons in a way that no one else could.

 _ **"Drop it. Just drop it, Jinki. Please,"**_ the young man pleads. He runs his hands through his hair vigorously and slams his back against the passenger seat. 

 _ **"Fine."**_ Jinki says, exhaling loudly.

The older man pulls into the parking lot of his building and the two of them make their way to Jinki's apartment. The whole elevator ride is painfully silent, each one seething from their own anger. It was exhausting to not take their irritation out on each other, but both of them hated the alternative even more. Once inside, Taemin rushes past him in a quiet huff and heads straight to the fridge for a drink of water. 

 _ **"Are you hungry?"**_ Jinki asks.

 _ **"No,"**_ Taemin says with so much conviction in his voice. 

Jinki is rattled. Taemin really must be upset if he's turning down food. _**"You're not hungry...?"**_

 _ **"You should really throw that orange out already,"**_ He says, closing the door of the fridge. The rotting orange looks exactly like how he feels right now.  _ **"I feel really drained. Can I crash here for the night?"**_

 _ **"Of course you can..."**_ Jinki really doesn't know how to proceed. Truth be told, he hasn't really known Taemin long enough to know how to handle him yet when he's this upset. Maybe cuddling will work. _**"It's still early... Do you wanna watch a movie?"**_

 _ **"I think I'll just stay in bed, if you don't mind..."**_ the young man says weakly. 

_**"Are you sure?"** _

_**"Yes, I'm sure."** _

Jinki looks at the his lover in the eye, desperate to make things right. The only problem is, he really doesn't know what to do right now. Maybe an apology could do the trick. _**"Taem... I'm sorry..."**_  

 _ **"Yeah... Good night, hyung,"**_ Taemin says, as he turns his back and trudges toward the bedroom. There's no other option but to let him go.

_**"Good night, Taem..."** _

*****

There was something about the way he slept. He had never felt so mesmerized by the rise and fall of someone's chest... By the way their eyelashes rested so delicately on their face... By the soft marks that were left on their skin by the linens. Jinki thought he could watch him like this for hours and before he knew it, he actually did. He didn't need his morning cup of coffee to feel warm and alive. Taemin's presence did that for him all by himself.  

As expected, he couldn't sleep at all last night. It bothered Jinki too much that they had left things hanging and just went to bed. He never thought that he would be so concerned about an old married couple's advice but he really wished they had talked it out before sleeping. But it was adorable the way Taemin still clung to him in his sleep, despite the fact that he was harboring a grudge. Throughout his life, the businessman found that when people were upset, they usually wanted nothing to do with you. At all. But the young man in his bed proved that he was the exception. Jinki found solace in thinking that no argument could really take Taemin's affection away. It made him feel secure... Like he was more important than any disagreement they could ever have. 

Jinki just continued to stand there. He watched as the morning light slowly entered the room, eventually making its way to Taemin and gently rousing him awake.  

The young man opens his eyes and instinctively searches the room for Jinki. He smiles as he finds the older man leaning against the doorway, already staring at him with loving eyes. _**"Good morning..."**_ Taemin says, his voice still scraggly and croaking.

 _ **"Are you still mad?"**_ he asks shyly. 

 _ **"I can never really stay mad at you,"**_ Taemin says, rubbing his eyes. He gestures for Jinki to come back to bed and the older man gives in. He crawls back into the sheets and holds Taemin close. Taemin takes a deep breath too, and softens at the sight of Jinki's worried face. _**"If it's going to make you feel better, I'll ask for a contract to be ready for the next time that we meet,"**_ Taemin says.

 _ **"It will,"**_ Jinki says.

 _ **"BUT, I'll go over them myself. I don't want a stuffy lawyer telling me what I can or cannot do,"**_ the young man says sternly.

_**"You really are stubborn, aren't you?"** _

_**"You bet your ass, I am. I wouldn't have met you if I wasn't,"**_ he says, with a glint in his eye that Jinki missed in the last few hours.

 _ **"Then thank God you are..."**_ Jinki says, leaning in for a soft kiss.

 _ **"You know what... Kim Jonghyun was cute,"**_ Taemin says, out of the blue. 

 _ **"Oh, he was?"**_ Jinki was on high alert and every bone in his body told him to hold Taemin closer--even if he knew that this was just a game they liked to play.

 _ **"Yeah... He was dressed really well and when he speaks he'd look right into my eyes... Choi Minho was really cute, too. So hot,"**_ Taemin says, taking Jinki's arms and wrapping them around himself even tighter.

 _ **"Choi Minho, the actor? You actually saw him?"**_  

 _ **"Yeah, didn't I mention that? He was there too. He was really handsome,"**_ the young man says with a smirk on his face that was so obvious. He was really pulling out all the stops to get a some sort of reaction from Jinki... And by the way the older man was staring at him, his plan was definitely working.

 _ **"Are you saying this to make me jealous?"**_ He asks with an eyebrow shot up to the air.

 _ **"It depends..."**_ Taemin says. The tone of his voice started to change in a way that made Jinki nervous. 

_**"On what?"** _

_**"On whether it's working..."**_ Taemin says, his face burrowing its way into the crook of Jinki's neck. He kisses softly and repeatedly, leaving a trail of wet kisses from behind Jinki's ear, all the way down to his collar bone.  _ **"So, is it?"**_ he murmurs.

At the beginning of this, Jinki told himself that he wouldn't falter, but Taemin had a way of making him throw in the towel. _**"What if it is?"**_  

 _ **"Then I was thinking... I'd have to make it up to you..."**_ Taemin whispers in his ear. By this time, the young man had his hand beneath Jinki's shirt, caressing his well-defined chest and nibbling at his earlobe.

 _ **"Taem... I have to go to work, sweetheart..."**_ Jinki says, laughing at how weak his protest sounded.

_**"Then I have to make it quick, don't I?"** _


	11. Vulnerable

_It was getting harder and harder to pretend that everything was alright._

_They fought again the other day, and this time it was worse than the two of them ever wanted it to be. Shouts and name-calling shook the apartment and Taemin just gave up and walked out on him. Every day that passed by after that made him sick to his stomach._

_"Enough," he whispers._

_It's the middle of the night and he has decided what he wanted to do--what he needed to do. He loved him. Nothing could stand in the way of his happiness, not even himself. Taemin quietly tiptoes to the other room and looks upon him sleeping soundly. It was heart-wrenching to know that the man had no idea that his life was about to flip upside down as he enjoyed peaceful slumber. Taemin had been cared for long enough. It was his time to take care of him now, and this was the only way he knew how._

_The young man returns to his room and puts all his most important belongings in his backpack, tears streaming down his face. It hurt like hell but there was no other choice. He had no idea when they would see each other again, and that thought killed him more than anything. Maybe one day he'd be forgiven. For now, this was what had to happen._

_He walks out into the hallway and takes one last look around the apartment that they shared. All the memories that they made together could keep him going, he thought. His eye falls on a framed picture of them together, hanging on the wall. Taemin reaches out and takes it._

_"Goodbye, Taesun."_  

Taemin threw his eyes open, willing himself to wake up. Right now, the darkness was an enemy he had to fight off so that he wouldn't drift back into that horrible nightmare. He groped around the floor for his cell phone until he could see what time it was. _3:20._ Now he understood why the surroundings were so eerily quiet. All he could hear was the strong pounding of his heart that went all the way to his ears. The young man tries to collect himself and steady his breath by telling himself that it was just a dream. Sitting up, he realizes that his back is drenched in a thin layer of sweat. His beautiful silhouette shone in the moonlight, and the young man runs his hands through his slightly damp hair.

He hadn't dreamt of Taesun in a while... It was such a shock to see him again, even if was brief and through his subconscious. It's funny how the mind remembers certain things, like the way his brother looked while he was sleeping. Taemin couldn't help but wonder how his brother was doing. Did he finally get to go to university? Was he making good money in his job? Does he have someone to make him feel loved? Is he happy? That last question haunted him more than he wanted to admit. It stung, knowing his brother could be happy without him. Taemin never could. Not really.

He reaches for his cellphone. There was only one thing he could think of that would calm him down. 

_**"Hyung...?"** _

_**"Taem... Is everything ok?"**_ Jinki's voice is faint and croaking. He had definitely been awoken by the call.

 _ **"Sorry I woke you... I... I had a bad dream,"**_ he says. suddenly embarrassed by his actions. 

 _ **"Really? Do you want to talk about it?"**_ Taemin could hear him groan on the other line. Jinki was probably making himself sit up on the bed. 

_**"No... I just wanted to hear your voice..."** _

Jinki cleared his throat a few times, not even thinking about what he was going to do next. Suddenly, a haunting melody comes through. Taemin recognizes the tune from his childhood. It's one of the songs that the teachers in preschool sing right before they put the kids down for their nap. It's familiar, except that instead of a chorus of young kids quacking it, it's actually being sung quite beautifully. 

_Wait... Is that?_

The song finishes and the young man is at a loss for words.

_**"Taemin...?"** _

_**"You never told me you could sing..."**_ he says softly. His heart is pounding again, only this time it's because of heart flutters.

_**"I don't... My eomma always sings me back to sleep if I have a nightmare... I just thought it would help..."** _

_**"It was beautiful... And it worked,"**_ Taemin says, yawning.

_**"Hyung... You can sing... And that's my professional opinion..."** _

Somehow, Taemin hears him smile. 

 _ **"I wish you were here,"**_ Jinki says. 

_**"Me too, hyung... Maybe I wouldn't have had a bad dream if you were next to me."** _

_**"Definitely... I would have protected you."** _

_**"From a dream?"** _

_**"I'd do anything to keep you safe..."** _

There was something about these early hours that made it easy to be so vulnerable. Maybe the darkness brings with it the courage to say the things that we cannot bring ourselves to say during the light of day.

_**"Hyung... Do you love me?"** _

_**"You know I do, Taem. I love you... So much,"**_ Jinki whispers. He had never heard anyone tell him anything with that much conviction in their voice before. 

 _ **"I love you too, hyung..."**_ It was more of a promise than a just a reply.

Both of them feel asleep to the comforting sound of the other's breath, feeling a warm embrace even though they were apart. 

*****

Days passed by quicker than he had hoped and before he knew it, Taemin was back in SM Entertainment, in the same studio, and with the same people. Jonghyun hadn't been able to look Taemin in the eye since he arrived, but the young man didn't want to make it any more awkward than it had to be. He knew that the chance encounter last week was still hanging in the air but he would never let something as petty as this get in the way of possibly the greatest opportunity of his life. Thank God the others were there.  

They had a great time putting their ideas together for this one song. Taeyeon was right. There was an artistic synergy between the four of them, somehow. Things felt easy and not contrived at all. They had finished making a guide track for one of the songs that Taemin had played for them the first time he was there and it was quite a refreshing experience for the young man to have some collaborators for a change. He thoroughly enjoyed the last five hours that he had spent in the studio. As things were winding down on the artistic end, they had a lot to talk about regarding Taemin's status at the company. 

 _ **"So here it is, as promised..."**_ Jonghyun says, handing Taemin a folder with some documents in it. 

_**"Is this...?"** _

_**"Consider it a formal offer,"**_ Jonghyun says, smirking. Only the two of them get the inside joke and the young man was internally screaming. If only Jinki could have been there.

 _ **"Taemin, to tell you the truth, I've been having a lot of trouble finding material that I'm comfortable working with. I really want to include some of your songs in my album,. Everyone I've talked to about it agrees,"**_ Minho says. 

 _ **"But this is a contract for me to work here...?"**_ Taemin says, leafing through the pages of the document. _**"I sort of thought you guys just bought songs from songwriters..."**_

 _ **"We do... But sometimes, when the person is really good, and when they work well with the team, we keep them on..."**_ Taeyeon says.

Could he really have a job offer? As a song writer? At the biggest music company in the country? If this was a dream, he definitely did not want to wake up. He stares at the pages of the contract but there was no way that anything was registering in his brain right now. He was just in too much awe.

 _ **"This is just something for you to review, of course. Legal will take care of explaining the details to you when you agree to the terms and are ready to sign. There's also a card right there, just call them when you're ready. You'll also find a list of the things that you'll need to submit... Boring things, like government papers and stuff like that,"**_ Jonghyun says. 

 _ **"Okay... That gives me time to prepare... Wow... The contract... It's really long..."**_ Taemin is in awe of the way things were handled here. He had never seen an actual music contract before. It makes his heart skip a beat. 

 _ **"You're wiser than I am. I was too young and eager and I just signed right away. I got stuck doing small commercials for the first couple of years,"**_ Minho says.

 _ **"Yeah, I wish I could say that that's my idea. I'm kind of under strict orders to be careful,"**_ Taemin says. 

 _ **"Ooooh... Someone's looking out for Taemin-ssi... Girlfriend?"**_ Taeyeon's eyes light up at the topic of love.

 _ **"Boyfriend, actually... He works with a big construction firm... Not far from here actually, just a couple of blocks away. He's very supportive..."**_ Taemin says.

 _ **"Boyfriend, huh? Interesting..."**_ Minho says thoughtfully.

_**"Is that a problem...?"** _

_**"No, of course not. I just wasn't expecting that, that's all. Have at it,"**_ the actor replies.

Jonghyun starts to fidget and look down at the floor at the mention of the young man's lovelife. The producer is acting so strange that even Taemin gets uncomfortable talking about himself. 

 _ **"What about you guys? Any S.O.s?"**_ the young man asks, desperate to take the heat off of himself.

 _ **"Well, I can't have one. You'd think that they'd lift the dating ban for a successful actor who's pretty much a veteran, but... Nope. I'm in contractual celibacy,"**_ Minho says.

 _ **"You can't be serious?"**_ Taemin replies, shocked at the information. What a waste for a man that good-looking and talented to just be by himself.

 _ **"Okay, you busted me. At least I don't let myself get caught... Contractually."**_ The actor winks at him and the whole room erupts in laughter. 

 _ **"What about you, Noona?"**_ Taemin asks.

 _ **"Ah. Yeah. Well. I just got out of a serious relationship,"**_ she says.

 _ **"Noona was in a secret relationship with one of the artists,"**_ Jonghyun says, finally joining in. _**"A good-for-nothing tabloid leaked it and the fans of the guy did not take it well."**_

 _ **"I got death threats, among other things..."**_ Taeyeon says. 

 _ **"Oh my God. Noona, that was you? I remember reading about that on Naver,"**_ Taemin says.

 _ **"Yep, that was me... Unfortunately,"**_ Taeyeon sighs. _**"That's why I will not be dating for a while. If Minho has a contractual ban... Me? I'm banning myself. Nothing is worth that circus. My whole life got flipped upside-down."**_

 _ **"Well, you shouldn't have dated a celebrity if you weren't prepared for it,"**_ Minho says. _**"Things like that just sort of happen around us."**_

 _ **"Are we going to make this a Taeyeon Pity Party again? Please, guys. Enough. I'm moving on. Besides... It's waaay more interesting to talk about Jonghyun,"**_ she says, wagging her eyebrows. **_"I hear he's got a little crush."_**

Taemin swallows hard and hopes to God that she isn't talking about him.

 _ **"Noona,"**_ Jonghyun says, getting nervous all over again.

 _ **"What? You never tell us any of these things but I know you well enough to know that you've got it bad for someone else. You get this pathetic puppy dog look in your eye and you stare off into space all the time. I've never been wrong about it. Never."**_ The conviction in Taeyeon's voice would have convinced anyone that what she was saying was the gospel truth. Taemin thought that she could have been a good lawyer if she wasn't in the music industry. That, or a good sales person.

 _ **"Wow, someone actually captured the attention of the elusive bachelor. I don't suppose you want to tell us who it is?"**_ Minho says, quite intrigued himself.

 _ **"No, I don't. Come on, you guys know me better than that. I never talk about stuff like that."**_ Jonghyun always did his best to separate his personal affairs from his work--even if he did have a couple of stumbles along the way. His failures withstanding, he had always did that on his own time, and not when he was being paid by the company. He wasn't going to start changing his principles just because of a few minutes of peer pressure.

 _ **"Doesn't mean it doesn't happen... You're a romantic underneath all that smug behavior and you know it,"**_ Taeyeon says, laughing.

 _ **"ANYWAY, Taemin-ssi... We're done for the day... You can bring those home with you, and do you want a copy of the guide track?"**_ he says, completely ignoring the taunting of the two.

 _ **"Yeah, thanks. That would be great,"**_ Taemin says.

Awkward as it may have ended, it was a good day. There was a legitimacy to what he was doing now. He didn't feel like he was on the outside looking in anymore. This was it... He was finally going to start to make a name for himself now... With the help of his new-found friends.

*****

 _ **"Hyuuung..."**_ Taemin says, as he buried his face in the crook of Jinki's neck. This tight embrace was exactly what he needed after such a draining afternoon of work.

 _ **"Miss me much?"**_ Jinki chuckles, leaning into the embrace as well. It felt good to finally have Taemin in his arms again. He breathes in his scent as he tightens his grasp around his waist. It was sheer bliss.

It was nice that Jinki had always gone out of his way to pick Taemin up from these things. The young man would always get embarrassed to see the dashing businessman in his tailored, designer suit just to wait for frumpy him to finish work, but he wasn't going to let himself feel guilty today. That session absolutely drained him. They were able to come up with amazing material but Taemin wasn't used to the intense and fast-paced work ethic that they had. It was hard for him to keep up. 

 _ **"I don't know why I feel like five hours of this is more tiring than eight hours on my feet at the clothing store... I'm so exhausted... And happy to see you,"**_ Taemin lifts his head and stares at his boyfriend's face. _**"I feel like I haven't seen you in ages."**_

 _ **"We were together just yesterday, Taem,"**_ Jinki says, smiling.

 _ **"Well, it's not often enough."**_ Taemin leans in for a kiss when they were interrupted by someone clearing their throat.

The young man whips around to see that it was Jonghyun who had called their attention.

_Oh, great. Here we go._

_**"Sorry... Taemin-ssi, you left these upstairs,"**_ he says, handing over the envelope with the contract.

 _ **"Oh my God, I can't believe I left this behind! Thank you!"**_ Taemin immediately breaks away from Jinki and reaches for the envelope. _**"Thank you so much, Jonghyun-ssi."**_

 _ **"No problem,"**_ Jonghyun says. _**"Hello, Jinki-ssi. How are you?"**_ The producer stretches out his hand to the older man for a handshake. _**"We've prepared that contract for him,"**_ he says, nodding toward the envelope. 

 _ **"Hello, Jonghyun-ssi,"**_ Jinki says, acknowledging the handshake. _**"That's great, I'll be sure to help Taemin go over them myself."**_

 _ **"Listen... While I have you both... I feel like I owe you two an apology,"**_ Jonghyun says. _**"I may have crossed some boundaries the last time we all met... I don't want us to get off on the wrong foot, especially since we'll be working together. It's never good to be awkward with colleagues. I was hoping that we could all start over?"**_

The two look at each other in disbelief. Is this really the same guy who firmly stood his ground against Jinki the other week?

The older man was clearly not buying it. He was obviously trying to hold in his laughter, but stops when he sees the look on Taemin's face. The young man was pleading with him... Almost desperate. All at once, Jinki realized just how much this opportunity meant to Taemin. He would do anything to protect him, yes. But he would also do anything to make him happy.

 _ **"Sure, Jonghyun-ssi. Don't worry about it. Nothing even happened,"**_ Jinki says, a bit weaker than he wanted to sound.

Jonghyun is visibly relieved. _**"Thank you, really. Thank you,"**_ he says with a warm smile. _**"So, we're good?"**_

 _ **"Yeah, we're good."**_ Jinki replies, forcing a smile onto his face.

_For now._

_**"Great. Well, I'll leave you to your evening,"**_ the producer says. _**"See you guys soon. Have a good night."**_

 _ **"Bye, Jonghyun-ssi..."**_ Taemin says.

The two kept silent as they watched Jonghyun disappear back into the building.

 _ **"Well, that was interesting,"**_ Jinki says.

 _ **"It was, wasn't it? I didn't expect that,"**_ Taemin says, resuming his position wrapped around Jinki's arms.

 _ **"Neither did I,"**_ the older man replies, running his hand through Taemin's hair.

_**"So what did you think?"** _

_**"Honestly? I'll believe it when I see it... I won't pounce, but that doesn't mean my guard isn't up... You should still be careful too... But at least he apologized. That was a classy move, I'll admit."**_ he says. _**"It was cool that he made himself vulnerable like that to keep the peace."**_

 _ **"You know what? I think I'm starting to like it a little bit when you get possessive,"**_ Taemin says, smirking as he presses his body against Jinki's.

 _ **"Really? There's more where that came from."**_ The look in the older man's eyes suddenly shifted and it made Taemin's cheeks flush.

 _ **"Maybe we should get out of here?"**_ he asks, taking Jinki's hand and leading him toward the car.

_**"I thought you'd never ask."** _


End file.
